Well HELLO Bloggy World!
Good to see you again! I am coming back to you as a completely new and different person! My sweet little Baby Girl who was supposedly due November 5th, decided to come early. Exactly three weeks early in fact! Boy howdy was that a shock!
After 18 1/2 hours of labor, my sweet little angel was born at 6 pounds 7 ounces and 19 inches long. I kid you not, as she was born the classical song "Hallelujah Chorus" was playing!! What a blessing from God!
That was her at just over 2 weeks and now she is a month. ONE MONTH!! My baby girl already growing up!
Things are going well. Hubby was an absolute blessing during his two weeks off. He made sure I got out of the house, took walks, and did a lot of diaper changes. What a great man! Baby girl still doesn't do much besides eat, poop (A LOT!), and sleep. Most days I am stuck in my bed breastfeeding and sleeping for hours.
After a couple of okay nights, I have managed to feel okay on the sleep front and have ventured back into the rest of the house. Ran a couple loads of laundry, the dishwasher, journaled once, cleaned the toilet (whoa! I am on a roll!), but doesn't feel like much else. I tried to bake a batch of cookies once, but couldn't finish putting them all in the oven as Baby Girl woke up wailing for food.
Yes, I have already introduced her to a bottle. And it has saved my sanity. Sometimes it seems I just can't provide enough to satisfy her. Plus it has given Hubby and I the opportunity to go out for dinner a few times. But Baby Girl handles it like a pro. She doesn't seem to care who is feeding her or what she is eating as long as she is eating!
Things I Have Come to Realize as a Brand New Mommy:
1. Mommy Guilt totally exists. When it I can't provide enough food for her, or if I spend too much time away from her I feel bad. The fact that I can go bonkers and need to get away and out of the house...Mommy guilt!! But already I have learned the importance of taking some "Me Time". I feel like I am taking advantage of my wonderful family, but man, sometimes I just want to SHOWER.
2. Husbands play a CRUCIAL role! Sometimes I get frustrated because I have to be the one to solely provide for our child. Hubby just physically cannot feed Baby and the entire burden falls on me. Its overwhelming. Because I am often trapped sitting around feeding Baby girl, things like eating and drinking water fall by the wayside. But that is where my Hubby stepped in! During his two weeks off, and even still, he took such good care of me, bringing me food and water, recognizing when I was losing it and letting me cry or kicking me out for a walk around the block. I would not have made it through without him. Having your husband there to care for you as you care for baby is so important. Let your man know how much you appreciate him and need him!!
3. Go with the Flow. Before I had Baby girl I did NOT want to co-sleep. Bed Wars between Hubby and I were dangerous enough! However, Baby girl had a different opinion. She decided she didn't want to sleep any where but in the car and in our bed. Preferably in my arms the whole night. Of course. If I want to get sleep myself, we play by Baby's rules. And that is okay. Oh wait. She just peed all over me. Breathe. Wipe. Continue on with life. Babies have their own ideas and personalities. The way you planned her sleeping schedule before she was even born, may not pan out. Stay calm, parent on.
4. Thank You Steve Jobs! I do not know what women did before the invention of the Ipad. I use the Ipad all the time now, playing games and watching Netflix during the day and at night I read my Kindle. Or Nook. Yes, I have all three. Overkill I know, not sure how it happened. I digress. Make sure that when you settle down to feed your baby, you have something to do! Feeding sessions can take up to 40 minutes--on one side!! Yes, I do fill up at least ten minutes staring at my beautiful child, but trust me when I say it is an excellent idea to invest in an e-reader!
5. Never Underestimate the Power of the Burp Cloth. It wipes up spit, snot, tears, eye goo, poo, and pee. Don't leave home without one!
6. Do What is Best for You and Baby! There is a lot of pressure out there these days to exclusively breastfeed your child. That is totally awesome, if it is what works for you and baby! Is it really that horrible to sneak a bottle in when you are losing it? HECK. NO. If it is 3am and you have been continuously feeding your child for the past two hours and she is still screaming for more--USE THE BOTTLE! Baby will feel satisfied and you will not go insane. You need to do what you need to do to stay sane. If you are overwhelmed, balling, and frustrated things are not going to work out for you and baby in that moment. Put that baby down, walk away, breathe, eat, relax. Getting too frustrated could put baby in danger.
But this is more than just how you decide to feed the baby, its about how you want to raise the baby as well. Co-sleep or crib, baby carrier or no, sleep schedule, etc. The 'no-cry' method is great, but maybe it is just not working for you and Baby, so do what DOES work best for you!!
And congratulations to me! I was only interrupted twice by Baby Girl while trying to type up this blog! And yet...spit up on three times. Hmm.
Until Next Time!
Linked up at Christian Mommy Blogger!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Butterscotch Pudding Triple Chip Cookies
Hello Bloggy World!
I just couldn't wait to share these cookies with you!! I found them via Pinterest of course! (http://pinterest.com/alyssa_zech/ Follow me I will follow you back!!). They come from a blog called Two Peas and Their Pod. Check them out for lots of delicious looking recipes!
I just couldn't wait to share these cookies with you!! I found them via Pinterest of course! (http://pinterest.com/alyssa_zech/ Follow me I will follow you back!!). They come from a blog called Two Peas and Their Pod. Check them out for lots of delicious looking recipes!
Look at that deliciousness!! It uses butterscotch chips, white chips, and chocolate chips! NUM!! The butterscotch pudding I only found at Cub and not Target, so it may not be found at all grocery stores. I was also already planning on stocking up my baking cabinet for the holidays, so I had an excuse to be buying so many different kinds of chips. If buying butterscotch chips is not in your budget (believe me, they aren't a chip I bake with often enough to keep in my cupboard), substitute peanut butter chips, mini peanut butter cups cut into pieces, or just totally omit and add more white and chocolate chips!
My husband has claimed these as his new favorite cookie and demands I make them every week. So make room in your baking schedule and try these out for sure!
***
Ingredients:
1 cup (2 sticks) butter softened
3/4 cup brown sugar packed
1/4 cup white sugar
1 (3.4 oz) package butterscotch instant pudding mix
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup white chocolate chips
1 cup butterscotch chips
Go Time!:
1. Preheat oven to 350 F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or grease and set aside.
2. Using a mixer, beat together butter and the sugars until creamy. Add in butterscotch pudding mix, eggs, and vanilla extract. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt. (I fully admit that I did NOT combine the dry ingredients together, but rather just added them one at a time to the pudding mixture. Cookies still turned out awesome and fluffy!)
Add the dry ingredients to the pudding mixture and mix until just combined. Stir in the chips.
3. Drop cookie dough by rounded tablespoons onto baking sheet. Bake for 10 minutes, or until slightly golden around the edges. Remove cookies from oven and let cool on baking sheet for two minutes before transferring to a cooling rack.
***
I hope you enjoy this recipe! I am already planning on making them again just for Hubby later this week or early next week again.
Stay tuned for Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies!!
Labels:
baking
Monday, October 8, 2012
Who am I??
Hello Bloggy,
Wow. I realized I never did an introductory post before. I will give a quick run-down:
I dated my Hubby since I was 16 and a sophomore in high school. He is my best friend and I thank God I found him so early. After some rough patches, we finally married in 2009 when he was home on military leave. While we had been engaged before he left for a deployment in Iraq, we had felt lead to wait until he got home to have the wedding. However, three months in, Hubby changed his mind! He gave me two weeks notice (!!) before he was scheduled leave, so I planned a small backyard wedding. We had a second, larger, 'regular' wedding in May 2010 when he was home. So if you ever hear me joke that I have been married twice....it's true :))
We lived and loved happily ever after until just this past March I discovered I was pregnant. It came as quite the shock as Hubby and I had just had a lengthy discussion about never having children. We had made beautiful plans to travel and go back to school. Those plans are now on the back burner as we prepare for this surprise baby! Now, however, I am 36 weeks and currently experiencing baby hiccups. Seems my baby girl just loves to move around all the time!
Can I boil my life down to those two major points? Yes. Yes I can.
Because of this impending Baby, I have resolved to become more organized. Reading blogs about becoming a mommy, labor, and breastfeeding lead me to find some super awesome blogs about time management, running a household, cleaning, and crafting. It inspired me to start a blog of my own. And that is what you are reading here! I use this blog to share my goals, thoughts, devotions, and recipes. It may be pretty random but I like it.
Fun Facts about me:
Things I watch on Netflix: Doctor Who (!!), Vampire Diaries (guilty pleasure), Downton Abbey, 30 Rock, Alias, and Once Upon a Time.
Things I watch on TV: Dancing with the Stars. ....I am suuuper bad at keeping up with TV.
Things I do in my Free Time: Read, bake, Pinterest, Netflix, organize, and exercise.
Fave Color: pink
Fave Food: Sugar :))
Current Fave Bible Verse: "Before he created the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes" Ephesians 1:4 NLT
Fave sport: Cheerleading!! And I enjoy watching football. Go VIKES!!
Now, Bloggy World, I hope you know me a little bit better! Have a fantastic day!
Wow. I realized I never did an introductory post before. I will give a quick run-down:
I dated my Hubby since I was 16 and a sophomore in high school. He is my best friend and I thank God I found him so early. After some rough patches, we finally married in 2009 when he was home on military leave. While we had been engaged before he left for a deployment in Iraq, we had felt lead to wait until he got home to have the wedding. However, three months in, Hubby changed his mind! He gave me two weeks notice (!!) before he was scheduled leave, so I planned a small backyard wedding. We had a second, larger, 'regular' wedding in May 2010 when he was home. So if you ever hear me joke that I have been married twice....it's true :))
We lived and loved happily ever after until just this past March I discovered I was pregnant. It came as quite the shock as Hubby and I had just had a lengthy discussion about never having children. We had made beautiful plans to travel and go back to school. Those plans are now on the back burner as we prepare for this surprise baby! Now, however, I am 36 weeks and currently experiencing baby hiccups. Seems my baby girl just loves to move around all the time!
Taken by my Mom
Can I boil my life down to those two major points? Yes. Yes I can.
Because of this impending Baby, I have resolved to become more organized. Reading blogs about becoming a mommy, labor, and breastfeeding lead me to find some super awesome blogs about time management, running a household, cleaning, and crafting. It inspired me to start a blog of my own. And that is what you are reading here! I use this blog to share my goals, thoughts, devotions, and recipes. It may be pretty random but I like it.
Fun Facts about me:
Things I watch on Netflix: Doctor Who (!!), Vampire Diaries (guilty pleasure), Downton Abbey, 30 Rock, Alias, and Once Upon a Time.
Things I watch on TV: Dancing with the Stars. ....I am suuuper bad at keeping up with TV.
Things I do in my Free Time: Read, bake, Pinterest, Netflix, organize, and exercise.
Fave Color: pink
Fave Food: Sugar :))
Current Fave Bible Verse: "Before he created the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes" Ephesians 1:4 NLT
Fave sport: Cheerleading!! And I enjoy watching football. Go VIKES!!
Now, Bloggy World, I hope you know me a little bit better! Have a fantastic day!
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Caramel-Apple Cookies
Whoa!!!
Are you shocked Bloggy?? This will be my THIRD post in one week!! Amazing, I know. But I simply could not pass up the opportunity to share this amazing cookie recipe with you any longer. I first found it in Parents Magazine.
Tried a link up at Homemaker By Choice!
Are you shocked Bloggy?? This will be my THIRD post in one week!! Amazing, I know. But I simply could not pass up the opportunity to share this amazing cookie recipe with you any longer. I first found it in Parents Magazine.
C aramel-Apple Cookies
Sorry I didn't take any pictures of my own, I couldn't stop eating to pick up my camera. Normally I am not a baked apple kinda gal. I like my apples COLD and CRISP not warm and mushy like in apple pies. Blech. So even I was surprised that I wanted to give this recipe a shot. And I am so glad I did. The apple pieces did not turn mushy or brown for me, and when they were still fresh from the oven I swear I hardly noticed them at all!
The recipe itself does not call for a certain kind of apple, and as I fully admit I am an apple baking noob, I just randomly picked one at Target. I used a Gala apple. It worked perfectly for me and now its probably the only apple I would use. I might try a Granny Smith next time around as I feel that is the official "Fall Apple".
My last note: I also did not make my own caramel drizzle. I was not sure I would be able to find vanilla caramels and so I didn't even try :) I just used caramel drizzle from a bottle (the kind usually used for ice cream).
Without further ado::
****
Ingredients
2 sticks salted butter, softened
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
2 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup graham-cracker crumbs
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 small apple, peeled, cored, and finely chopped (3/4 cup)
1 cup vanilla caramels
3 Tbs whipping cream
Go Time!:
1 Preheat the oven to 350 F. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper or grease. In a bowl, beat butter on medium to high speed for 30 seconds. Beat in sugars until fluffy. Then add eggs and vanilla. Beat.
2. In a medium bowl, stir together flour, crumbs, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. Add to butter mixture and beat until combined. Stir in apple.
3. Shape dough into 1 1/4-inch balls. Arrange balls 2 inches apart on cookie sheets. Bake for 12 minutes or until edges are lightly browned. Removed and let cool on wire racks
4. In a bowl, mix caramels and cream. Microwave on high for 30 to 60 seconds or until nearly melted, stirring once. Stir until smooth. Drizzle over cookies; serve when hardened.
****
Me again. I preferred these cookies warm. And the batter was delicious! Just saying.
I don't know about you guys, but I am not a professional baker. I usually ignore things like 'shape dough into 1 1/4 inch balls'. I just plop them on the sheets and hope for the best. It has yet to fail me.
I also find some recipe directions ridiculous. Do you??? Is it just me?? Step Four: "...stirring once. Stir until smooth". Why is there a specific direction to only stir once if you have to stir until smooth anyways???
Oops. Now you definitely know I am not a professional!!
Labels:
baking
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Ten Goals for October
Ten Goals for October
1. Plan for at least ONE shoebox for Operation Christmas Child
2. Read four books! (This includes finishing the one I am now in the middle of)
3.Start Bible Study/meditation; 15 minutes every day after breakfast
4. Memorize 3 new verses
5. Workout 3x a week
6. Have cheer learned (words, stunts, motions)
7. Pack hospital bag with a checklist of what would still need to be added last minute
8. Clean, sand, and paint dresser
9. Continue reading the New Testament in the Message (1/2 way through Romans)
10. One date night with Hubby
1. Plan for at least ONE shoebox for Operation Christmas Child
2. Read four books! (This includes finishing the one I am now in the middle of)
3.Start Bible Study/meditation; 15 minutes every day after breakfast
4. Memorize 3 new verses
5. Workout 3x a week
6. Have cheer learned (words, stunts, motions)
7. Pack hospital bag with a checklist of what would still need to be added last minute
8. Clean, sand, and paint dresser
9. Continue reading the New Testament in the Message (1/2 way through Romans)
10. One date night with Hubby
Labels:
lists
Sunday, September 30, 2012
September Goals Update
Hello my Bloggy
So at the beginning of the month I decided to set 10 Goals to keep me motivated in the month of September. It was the first time I had ever tried something like that........and it didn't go so great.
Here was the List as a refresher. Updates are added in BOLD
1. Continue reading through the New Testament in the Message. At LEAST one chapter every day with breakfast. I was 3/4 way through Luke. I have probably only missed 3 days. I went from Luke to Acts, back to John and have been reading slowly Romans. Romans is simply fascinating in the Message!
2. Finish 5 books. I read 3 and am 47% through my fourth. This one bums me out; I love reading and wish this had come easier this month
3. Continue meal planning to work out a system that works best for Hubby and I. I would say that this one is accomplished. We sit down every Sunday night and write out meals for the week and assemble the grocery list. We write it on a whiteboard that we keep on the fridge.
4. Continue Bible verse memorization. I actually slacked off on this one :(( I kept the same verses, Lamentations 3:21-23, for several weeks. I am marking it off today and setting a brand new one for next week. Back on the bandwagon!
5. Start adding a 10 minute work out routine to my mornings. Yeah...didn't do this one at all. I just started adding a leg workout just this week. I have done it 3x with a walk on a fourth day.
6. "Ground" Husband at least once every other week if need be for some US time. Didn't accomplish this one either. It would be great, but it involves having Hubby on board and he doesn't really keep an open schedule!!
7. Organize desk space. I didn't actually organize it yet, but I did have it cleaned and cleared off several times. Doesn't that count??
8. Work on upstairs living space to make more 'homey'. We did! We bought another 5-shelf bookshelf and discovered that our previous plan wouldn't work. Hubby drafted up a new plan idea. Now we just need to sit down and finalize the new idea. And find a chair(s) that we both like and can afford!!
9. Complete ONE Pinterest craft! I will call this one also accomplished. I didn't actually make a Pinterest CRAFT, but I did try a new cookie recipe! I will share that delicious-ness later this week. I do also have an easy artwork craft I found on Pinterest scheduled for later this week.
10. Stay on top of cheerleading projects and 'to-do'. This one has been hard for me as well. Seems like every single day brings up yet another thing to do, person to email, or message to send out. Sheesh! My calender is getting booked with just cheerleading! Two things I should have accomplished by now, I still have yet to do. Boo.
So......four and a half accomplished?? Bummer. Not the greatest way to start off goal setting each month. I am not planning on giving up though. For October I am hoping to set more specific goals and learn from what I did this past month. I am also thinking I will use my Fall Bucket List as a guide. I am setting my October goals tonight hopefully and sharing them with you soon!
So at the beginning of the month I decided to set 10 Goals to keep me motivated in the month of September. It was the first time I had ever tried something like that........and it didn't go so great.
Here was the List as a refresher. Updates are added in BOLD
1. Continue reading through the New Testament in the Message. At LEAST one chapter every day with breakfast. I was 3/4 way through Luke. I have probably only missed 3 days. I went from Luke to Acts, back to John and have been reading slowly Romans. Romans is simply fascinating in the Message!
2. Finish 5 books. I read 3 and am 47% through my fourth. This one bums me out; I love reading and wish this had come easier this month
3. Continue meal planning to work out a system that works best for Hubby and I. I would say that this one is accomplished. We sit down every Sunday night and write out meals for the week and assemble the grocery list. We write it on a whiteboard that we keep on the fridge.
4. Continue Bible verse memorization. I actually slacked off on this one :(( I kept the same verses, Lamentations 3:21-23, for several weeks. I am marking it off today and setting a brand new one for next week. Back on the bandwagon!
5. Start adding a 10 minute work out routine to my mornings. Yeah...didn't do this one at all. I just started adding a leg workout just this week. I have done it 3x with a walk on a fourth day.
6. "Ground" Husband at least once every other week if need be for some US time. Didn't accomplish this one either. It would be great, but it involves having Hubby on board and he doesn't really keep an open schedule!!
7. Organize desk space. I didn't actually organize it yet, but I did have it cleaned and cleared off several times. Doesn't that count??
8. Work on upstairs living space to make more 'homey'. We did! We bought another 5-shelf bookshelf and discovered that our previous plan wouldn't work. Hubby drafted up a new plan idea. Now we just need to sit down and finalize the new idea. And find a chair(s) that we both like and can afford!!
9. Complete ONE Pinterest craft! I will call this one also accomplished. I didn't actually make a Pinterest CRAFT, but I did try a new cookie recipe! I will share that delicious-ness later this week. I do also have an easy artwork craft I found on Pinterest scheduled for later this week.
10. Stay on top of cheerleading projects and 'to-do'. This one has been hard for me as well. Seems like every single day brings up yet another thing to do, person to email, or message to send out. Sheesh! My calender is getting booked with just cheerleading! Two things I should have accomplished by now, I still have yet to do. Boo.
So......four and a half accomplished?? Bummer. Not the greatest way to start off goal setting each month. I am not planning on giving up though. For October I am hoping to set more specific goals and learn from what I did this past month. I am also thinking I will use my Fall Bucket List as a guide. I am setting my October goals tonight hopefully and sharing them with you soon!
Labels:
lists
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Fall Bucket List!
Hey Bloggy World!
I created a Fall Bucket List today! I am planning on adding it to my Christmas Planner for easy reference. With a baby on the way right before Thanksgiving, I am trying to make sure that I stay on top of all Holiday planning NOW. Any Thanksgiving Day craft or project is getting scheduled now and will probably be completed in the month of October. I know once that baby arrives I won't have the time or energy to be thinking about the Holidays, but I also don't want to add any more stress to my life by leaving all planning right until the end! I decided to make a Fall Bucket List to make sure that I am also slowing down and enjoying this time of year, my last Baby-Free Fall.
Here I will share my short list with you, BUT! I also wanted to share a free resource I found while hopping around the Web. I found a place called Design Finch and he offers a Fall Bucket List template that you can customize and then print off. Click here to check it out. I can often times find printable bucket lists around Pinterest and such, but often times they have stuff on there I don't really care for, so I was super excited to find one where I could add my own items!
So here it is, My Fall Bucket List::
These are items that will help me slow down and focus on the season. What would you include on your Fall Bucket List??
I created a Fall Bucket List today! I am planning on adding it to my Christmas Planner for easy reference. With a baby on the way right before Thanksgiving, I am trying to make sure that I stay on top of all Holiday planning NOW. Any Thanksgiving Day craft or project is getting scheduled now and will probably be completed in the month of October. I know once that baby arrives I won't have the time or energy to be thinking about the Holidays, but I also don't want to add any more stress to my life by leaving all planning right until the end! I decided to make a Fall Bucket List to make sure that I am also slowing down and enjoying this time of year, my last Baby-Free Fall.
Here I will share my short list with you, BUT! I also wanted to share a free resource I found while hopping around the Web. I found a place called Design Finch and he offers a Fall Bucket List template that you can customize and then print off. Click here to check it out. I can often times find printable bucket lists around Pinterest and such, but often times they have stuff on there I don't really care for, so I was super excited to find one where I could add my own items!
So here it is, My Fall Bucket List::
- Host a Soup Potluck
- Decorate Pumpkins
- Visit an Apple Orchard
- Buy apple donuts!!
- Drink Hot Chocolate
- Start a Gratitude Journal
- Eat a caramel apple
- Create a shoe box for Samaritan's Purse
- Make crockpot applesauce
These are items that will help me slow down and focus on the season. What would you include on your Fall Bucket List??
Labels:
lists
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
1 Peter 4:9 Failure
Hello Bloggy McBloggers,
A few posts back now I shared that I had taken a spiritual gifts assessment with my husband and we discovered that hospitality was pretty high for the both of us. While conducting a Biblical study on hospitality, I stumbled upon one of the more 'popular' hospitality Bible verses:
A few posts back now I shared that I had taken a spiritual gifts assessment with my husband and we discovered that hospitality was pretty high for the both of us. While conducting a Biblical study on hospitality, I stumbled upon one of the more 'popular' hospitality Bible verses:
"Offer hospitality to one another with out grumbling"
1 Peter 4:9
Let me confess that I was instantly convicted:
Just a week before taking the test, I had my 14 year old sister-in-law staying at our house. Her parents are going through a crazy, drawn-out divorce and the stress was really getting to her. Hubby and I offered to let her live at our place for as long as she needed. I really didn't mind, I knew I wouldn't be home much anyways because I was swamped under work and cheerleading and she is perfectly capable of using the Netflix remote.
Little did I know the stress I was inviting into my life. Because she was here, so was her father. He was doing what a good dad should and checking up on her and caring for her. However, a lot of the divorce stress was thus brought into our home. Our house was now a center hub of the latest drama and constant goings and comings of me, Hubby, SIL, and FIL.
Add in 30 hours a week, plus cheerleading, for a 7 months pregnant lady= uncool.
I had started to feel like the live-in maid....well the live-in-maid who couldn't keep up with the housework! When we weren't carting SIL to and from tennis or talking things over with her dad, Hubby kept us on a pretty busy social schedule as well. Any night we actually didn't have something going on, I just wanted to crash downstairs with the Hubby, SIL included, and watch Psych on Netflix. I think I got to do that twice....boo.
Needless to say, I was burning out. And FAST. Being so exhausted and busy hardly left me time, space, or energy to spend the proper time with the Lord. It was incredibly easy for bitterness to creep into my heart. In fact, I practically invited the bitterness to come waltzing in! I was angry, hurt, lonely (in the midst of all that, really?!), feeling unloved, and uncared for. I tried to push on wards as best I could, but the bitterness was lodged in my heart, and eventually found its way out through my mouth. I imagine I made life even more difficult for my poor Hubby as I started complaining about his family members. I just remember wanting help and someone to listen to me, but expecting that from Hubby was incredibly selfish at that time. I should have turned to God; only He can handle our emotional burdens.
After about 2 weeks, the sister-in-law had to move back home due to some more craziness. However, my bitterness did not move out with her. It stayed wedged deeply in my heart. I knew that by complaining I wasn't making anything better and that I was becoming a really gross person, but I couldn't stop. I felt I need to get it all out of me and that complaining would some how relieve my emotions. When has that ever worked for anyone??
And then I read 1 Peter 4:9 and realized I had failed miserably before the Lord. I had been given my first opportunity at true hospitality and fallen short. Tripped on the way to the starting line up. Was this a difficult first opportunity? I'm sure. But the verse doesn't say "Practice hospitality when you feel like it" or "Practice hospitality when it is convenient for you". There is a reason Peter tells us to practice hospitality without grumbling, because he knows that grumbling comes from a bitter heart. He wants us to offer hospitality to others because we love them and are overflowing with the love of Christ.
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins"
1 Peter 4:8
Because I failed to stay close to the Lord during this time, I am still fighting the battle of bitterness. The walls protecting my heart were damaged, and now I have to laboriously repair them, brick by brick.
I urge you, do not grumble about being hospitable, but instead turn to the Lord your God, seek His love, and let it in turn flow out of you to others, even strangers.
"Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing so some people have entertained angels without knowing it"
Hebrews 13:2
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Husband Project Final
Hello Bloggy!!
Well, it is time for me to draw a close to the Husband Project. In my last post about the Husband Project, I discussed three projects I wanted to accomplish for sure so let me regale you on that account first!
For project #17, the one involving his car....it went interestingly. I snuck out and got his car washed at the closest Holiday gas station and also ran to Subway for a $15 gift card (he really likes to get their breakfast sandwiches). I wrote a little note and stuck the card inside, leaving it in his cup holder. I also threw away all the trash and junk that seems to so rapidly accumulate in his car. I was so proud of myself for being super sneaky and getting this 'bigger' project accomplished.
But lo, luck was not with me. Apparently, the next morning when he tried to pull out of the driveway, he discovered he had a flat tire!! So much for him having a nice, shiny car to take to work! Much drama ensued to be sure, and unfortunetly he didn't find the gift card until the next day. He also didn't mention it until about two days later when I couldn't stand it any more and asked. Sigh. Not exactly how I wanted that project to go down. But this was a good one I will keep in my back pocket to do over and over again.
I will skip telling you about project #12 ;0) but rather move on to H.P. #9. We didn't get to our 'big project' (finishing our living space project), but instead worked on something more meaningful together. As part of our 'Bible study' group, we were to complete a spiritual gifts assessment for ourselves than ask 2-3 people closest to us to complete it for us as well. So we spent one evening answering the questions for each other and then went on a lovely walk to discuss our answers. It felt really romantic to be able to connect with each other and be able to have a good, long, healthy discussion about something so important. CHECK! ..........But I'm still going to try and get him to work on a puzzle with me :)
I also completed Husband Project #21 "Car Chases and Karate Chops" by spending an afternoon (wait...we had an afternoon off...together....alone?!?!?!) watching Captain America on Netflix. We ate ice cream and snuggled and were completely lazy together and it felt GREAT.
And for project number 15 "What Not to Wear", I bought myself some new more 'mature' slippers (though still freaking adorable I must add!). I haven't had the guts to through out my pink fuzzy slippers yet...........only time will tell.
The only project I still haven't really managed to schedule time for is #19 or "The Service here is Excellent". I do have a great plan for it, but can't seem to find the time. I also wanted to buy new bed sheets for us (we still don't even own a comforter {!!!}, but mostly because living on a third floor apartment meant I could wear short sleeves and even shorts around the house all day. Maybe we will finally need one this winter!), but that is something Hubby would probably get upset about if I went without him. He likes picking out good comfy things. The problem is actually getting him to Target!!
And those were my Husband Projects!! This book was sooooooooooooo practical and I would recommend it to anyone. As I read each challenge, I took notes in my journal about several possible ideas for each one, so I still have lots of great ideas left to bless my Hubby with. It is also something that I hope to return to again and again, always updating my ideas list and looking for more awesome ways to love on my Hubby. The Husband Project also really challenged me to learn to love my husband even when I don't WANT to love him. If I stuck with it faithfully, I am sure it would continue softening my heart towards him.
So, again I say "Read the Husband Project!!" Super easy AND fun!! Good luck all!
Well, it is time for me to draw a close to the Husband Project. In my last post about the Husband Project, I discussed three projects I wanted to accomplish for sure so let me regale you on that account first!
For project #17, the one involving his car....it went interestingly. I snuck out and got his car washed at the closest Holiday gas station and also ran to Subway for a $15 gift card (he really likes to get their breakfast sandwiches). I wrote a little note and stuck the card inside, leaving it in his cup holder. I also threw away all the trash and junk that seems to so rapidly accumulate in his car. I was so proud of myself for being super sneaky and getting this 'bigger' project accomplished.
But lo, luck was not with me. Apparently, the next morning when he tried to pull out of the driveway, he discovered he had a flat tire!! So much for him having a nice, shiny car to take to work! Much drama ensued to be sure, and unfortunetly he didn't find the gift card until the next day. He also didn't mention it until about two days later when I couldn't stand it any more and asked. Sigh. Not exactly how I wanted that project to go down. But this was a good one I will keep in my back pocket to do over and over again.
I will skip telling you about project #12 ;0) but rather move on to H.P. #9. We didn't get to our 'big project' (finishing our living space project), but instead worked on something more meaningful together. As part of our 'Bible study' group, we were to complete a spiritual gifts assessment for ourselves than ask 2-3 people closest to us to complete it for us as well. So we spent one evening answering the questions for each other and then went on a lovely walk to discuss our answers. It felt really romantic to be able to connect with each other and be able to have a good, long, healthy discussion about something so important. CHECK! ..........But I'm still going to try and get him to work on a puzzle with me :)
I also completed Husband Project #21 "Car Chases and Karate Chops" by spending an afternoon (wait...we had an afternoon off...together....alone?!?!?!) watching Captain America on Netflix. We ate ice cream and snuggled and were completely lazy together and it felt GREAT.
And for project number 15 "What Not to Wear", I bought myself some new more 'mature' slippers (though still freaking adorable I must add!). I haven't had the guts to through out my pink fuzzy slippers yet...........only time will tell.
The only project I still haven't really managed to schedule time for is #19 or "The Service here is Excellent". I do have a great plan for it, but can't seem to find the time. I also wanted to buy new bed sheets for us (we still don't even own a comforter {!!!}, but mostly because living on a third floor apartment meant I could wear short sleeves and even shorts around the house all day. Maybe we will finally need one this winter!), but that is something Hubby would probably get upset about if I went without him. He likes picking out good comfy things. The problem is actually getting him to Target!!
And those were my Husband Projects!! This book was sooooooooooooo practical and I would recommend it to anyone. As I read each challenge, I took notes in my journal about several possible ideas for each one, so I still have lots of great ideas left to bless my Hubby with. It is also something that I hope to return to again and again, always updating my ideas list and looking for more awesome ways to love on my Hubby. The Husband Project also really challenged me to learn to love my husband even when I don't WANT to love him. If I stuck with it faithfully, I am sure it would continue softening my heart towards him.
So, again I say "Read the Husband Project!!" Super easy AND fun!! Good luck all!
Labels:
marriage
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Spiritual Gifts Inventory!
Hello Bloggy,
Recently my husband and I completed a spiritual gifts inventory as part of our young adult group (YAG). First we were to take the quiz answering the questions for ourselves. Then we were to ask people close to us to take the test for us. Hubby and I completed it for each other.
Here are our Top Five Spiritual Gifts::
Test taken by myself for Me:
1. Teaching 2. Knowledge 3. Hospitality 4. Exhortation 5. Giving
Results from Hubby taking test for Me:
1. Teaching 2. Hospitality 3. Service 4. Faith 5. Healing
Reaction:
Whaa????? Healing? FAITH??? ME?!?!? I was a little honored that he thought so highly of me! I also found it odd that we both scored teaching as the highest for me (although for me I had teaching and knowledge tied). I have defined teaching as "to instruct others in the Bible in a logical/systematic way for understanding and growth". Yikes. Sounds so....responsible. However, I can totally understand that knowledge would be high when I tested myself. I love Bible Studies and learning new things about the Bible, such as the Greek and Hebrew meaning of words. In fact, as soon as Hubby and I shared our test results, I wanted to run back home and start researching Bible Verses and blogs about our top gifts!!
Test taken by Hubby for himself:
1. Hospitality 2. Giving 3. Teaching 4. Faith 5. Pastoring
Results from Me taking test for Hubby:
1. Hospitality 2. Faith 3. Evangelism 4. Prophecy 5. Pastoring 6. Giving
Reaction:
I think he was surprised that he had scored so high on hospitality (17 pts v. Giving 12), but we both agree that he loves being social, inviting people over for dinners, cooking meals for them, and genuinely longs for a solid Christian community. We may not be philoxenos yet, but definetely got the philadelphia! The prophecy one threw us both for a loop which is why I included my sixth answer as well since I truly believe Hubby does have a heart for that. Evangelism was also shocking to him. I defined it as "to be a messenger of the good news of the Gospel". He has been through some tough persecutions in his job and especially, his military career, but it has never shaken him AND he has managed to constantly be sharing nuggets of God where ever and whenever he could. When I pointed this out, I think he could see it a little better.
True to my Knowledge gift, I have already dived into researching hospitality as it was Hubby's highest gift and also in my top five. I know often people treat hospitality as the 'women's role', and make it out to be all about decorating the home and cooking stellar meals. But already I have gleaned from the New Testament that hospitality was something the apostles expected everyone to partake in. It was something that was expected towards all brothers and sisters in Christ.
The Romans Love chapter (12:9-21) is an example of how all Christians are to love one another and practice hospitality. "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves....Share with God's people in need. Practice hospitality." The author doesn't add "Practice hospitality...if it is your spiritual gift."
Seen again in 1 Peter 4:9-10 "Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in various forms." Hospitality is spoken about as being OUTSIDE one's gifts. We are to use our gifts to SERVE OTHERS, which is a major proponent of hospitality!
Before I continue to ramble on about what other awesome-ness I have learned about hospitality thus far, I will let far better writers give it a shot. Check out these blog posts/articles!:
1. A Beginner's Guide to Hospitality . I check this one time and time again
2. I am just starting to read Hospitality Commands by Alexander Strauch. I got it for my Kindle. I think it will be an excellent resource that is 'gender neutral' so that Hubby can benefit as well
3. And I love this example of hospitality found here: Stress Free Christmas: Simple Hospitality. Short and sweet but it captures the heart of hospitality so well.
Perhaps later I will share with you my actual failures with Biblical hospitality that I experienced just recently. But now... I feel more research coming on :))
ps Again, I tried a link up (!) over at the Christian Mommy Blogger
Recently my husband and I completed a spiritual gifts inventory as part of our young adult group (YAG). First we were to take the quiz answering the questions for ourselves. Then we were to ask people close to us to take the test for us. Hubby and I completed it for each other.
Here are our Top Five Spiritual Gifts::
Test taken by myself for Me:
1. Teaching 2. Knowledge 3. Hospitality 4. Exhortation 5. Giving
Results from Hubby taking test for Me:
1. Teaching 2. Hospitality 3. Service 4. Faith 5. Healing
Reaction:
Whaa????? Healing? FAITH??? ME?!?!? I was a little honored that he thought so highly of me! I also found it odd that we both scored teaching as the highest for me (although for me I had teaching and knowledge tied). I have defined teaching as "to instruct others in the Bible in a logical/systematic way for understanding and growth". Yikes. Sounds so....responsible. However, I can totally understand that knowledge would be high when I tested myself. I love Bible Studies and learning new things about the Bible, such as the Greek and Hebrew meaning of words. In fact, as soon as Hubby and I shared our test results, I wanted to run back home and start researching Bible Verses and blogs about our top gifts!!
Test taken by Hubby for himself:
1. Hospitality 2. Giving 3. Teaching 4. Faith 5. Pastoring
Results from Me taking test for Hubby:
1. Hospitality 2. Faith 3. Evangelism 4. Prophecy 5. Pastoring 6. Giving
Reaction:
I think he was surprised that he had scored so high on hospitality (17 pts v. Giving 12), but we both agree that he loves being social, inviting people over for dinners, cooking meals for them, and genuinely longs for a solid Christian community. We may not be philoxenos yet, but definetely got the philadelphia! The prophecy one threw us both for a loop which is why I included my sixth answer as well since I truly believe Hubby does have a heart for that. Evangelism was also shocking to him. I defined it as "to be a messenger of the good news of the Gospel". He has been through some tough persecutions in his job and especially, his military career, but it has never shaken him AND he has managed to constantly be sharing nuggets of God where ever and whenever he could. When I pointed this out, I think he could see it a little better.
True to my Knowledge gift, I have already dived into researching hospitality as it was Hubby's highest gift and also in my top five. I know often people treat hospitality as the 'women's role', and make it out to be all about decorating the home and cooking stellar meals. But already I have gleaned from the New Testament that hospitality was something the apostles expected everyone to partake in. It was something that was expected towards all brothers and sisters in Christ.
The Romans Love chapter (12:9-21) is an example of how all Christians are to love one another and practice hospitality. "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves....Share with God's people in need. Practice hospitality." The author doesn't add "Practice hospitality...if it is your spiritual gift."
Seen again in 1 Peter 4:9-10 "Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in various forms." Hospitality is spoken about as being OUTSIDE one's gifts. We are to use our gifts to SERVE OTHERS, which is a major proponent of hospitality!
Before I continue to ramble on about what other awesome-ness I have learned about hospitality thus far, I will let far better writers give it a shot. Check out these blog posts/articles!:
1. A Beginner's Guide to Hospitality . I check this one time and time again
2. I am just starting to read Hospitality Commands by Alexander Strauch. I got it for my Kindle. I think it will be an excellent resource that is 'gender neutral' so that Hubby can benefit as well
3. And I love this example of hospitality found here: Stress Free Christmas: Simple Hospitality. Short and sweet but it captures the heart of hospitality so well.
Perhaps later I will share with you my actual failures with Biblical hospitality that I experienced just recently. But now... I feel more research coming on :))
ps Again, I tried a link up (!) over at the Christian Mommy Blogger
Labels:
hospitality,
lists
Monday, September 3, 2012
Revive Your Marriage
Hello All!
I wanted share with you about the Revive Your Marriage challenge going on at a blog I follow called Women Living Well and a few other blogs as well. It just so happens that this week's challenge is about prayer.
As you may I know I am also participating in the Husband Project and my challenge was to set an alarm at the same time everyday to remind myself to pray for my husband. What a timely coincidence! Or more likely, a God prompting! With life craziness these days I feel that prayer is now one of the only ways I have to connect with my husband, and I haven't even been doing it!
I have been staying in the Word and memorizing Scripture, and through this I feel that God is showing me just how ugly my heart is. I mean, wowza!! I never even knew I had some of these problems, but God is really opening my eyes to the filth that lays in my heart and I cannot deny it any longer. I feel that I have let bitterness creep into my heart towards my husband and I can't seem to fight it off anymore. Just reading the Word and trying to do my best isn't cutting it anymore. For the first time in my life I can honestly see WHY I need prayer. I feel like Peter while he was walking on the water and he looked down. He saw the reality of what he was doing, and he started to sink. But Peter knew just who to reach out to--Jesus.
So I am grabbing Jesus' hand and letting Him guide me to the surface. I am committing to pray for my husband every morning at 8 am. If I am not sure what to pray for I am using a few resources, one being "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian and a free downloadable resource from the blog Inspired to Action which you can get also just by following their blog through email or RSS reader.
I am ready for prayer to make a difference in my marriage! Are you??
<img border="0" src="http://womenlivingwell.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/reviveyourmarriage-tn-2.jpg" width="150"></a>
*** Attempted my first ever link up at womenlivingwell.org! Hope it worked! :) ***
I wanted share with you about the Revive Your Marriage challenge going on at a blog I follow called Women Living Well and a few other blogs as well. It just so happens that this week's challenge is about prayer.
As you may I know I am also participating in the Husband Project and my challenge was to set an alarm at the same time everyday to remind myself to pray for my husband. What a timely coincidence! Or more likely, a God prompting! With life craziness these days I feel that prayer is now one of the only ways I have to connect with my husband, and I haven't even been doing it!
I have been staying in the Word and memorizing Scripture, and through this I feel that God is showing me just how ugly my heart is. I mean, wowza!! I never even knew I had some of these problems, but God is really opening my eyes to the filth that lays in my heart and I cannot deny it any longer. I feel that I have let bitterness creep into my heart towards my husband and I can't seem to fight it off anymore. Just reading the Word and trying to do my best isn't cutting it anymore. For the first time in my life I can honestly see WHY I need prayer. I feel like Peter while he was walking on the water and he looked down. He saw the reality of what he was doing, and he started to sink. But Peter knew just who to reach out to--Jesus.
So I am grabbing Jesus' hand and letting Him guide me to the surface. I am committing to pray for my husband every morning at 8 am. If I am not sure what to pray for I am using a few resources, one being "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian and a free downloadable resource from the blog Inspired to Action which you can get also just by following their blog through email or RSS reader.
I am ready for prayer to make a difference in my marriage! Are you??
<img border="0" src="http://womenlivingwell.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/reviveyourmarriage-tn-2.jpg" width="150"></a>
*** Attempted my first ever link up at womenlivingwell.org! Hope it worked! :) ***
Labels:
marriage
Friday, August 31, 2012
Husband Project Check Up
Hello Bloggy,
About time I updated on my Husband Project, eh? Needless to say, it has been difficult keeping up. Hard to make your husband crispy ranch dressing chicken when he just got his wisdom teeth taken out. With a busy schedule (2 part time jobs), my 14 year old sister in law living with us for a while, a crazy dramatic divorce on Hubby's side of family, and continuously getting larger due to a pregnancy (31 weeks ya'll!), I have been finding it very difficult to even sit down for longer than 10 minutes. But now Hubby is getting over the hump of wisdom teeth recovery, its time I jump back on the band wagon for good.
First, I will give you some highlights of past project days!
I did H.P. #4 Heart vs. Stomach on my second day and it went over pretty well. I bought him some Reese Pieces for our trip up to the cabin. I made sure to make it extra special by hand writing a little card that said "I love you to Pieces!!" on the front. Super creative :)
I completed H.P. #3 on day four ( You da' Man!). Completing this project at the cabin was easier because there were plenty of people around to listen to me brag about my husband. I talked about how awesome he was for coming up with our living space makeover idea. I still think its so cute that he came up with it by himself!!
For H.P. #1, done on my sixth day of the challenge, I did a walk through of my house from garage to bedroom to assess how it made me feel, and then tried to change any stressful spots or eyesores so the view would be perfect for Hubby's return from work. I've also been working on being proactive with having dinner plans made every night, even if it turns out to just be frozen pizza.
Well for the next week now I would like to complete H.Ps. #17, 13, 12, 16, and 9 for sure. Some other ones might still have to wait until he can eat normal foods again.
#17, Playing Hooky, is on the docket for today. Ideally I would like to get his car get an oil check, air in tires, filled with gas, and washed. But with so many time constraints lately I might be settling for just a car wash. I will take it a step further though and buy a Caribou or Subway gift card to stick in his drink holder
Tomorrow, since I work a longer shift, I will be keeping it simpler and work on completing H.P. #12 "Gotcha!". I'm sure I can find plenty of thinks to praise/thank him for. Right?? :0D
Sunday is my day off! Finally!! That is when I hope to check off H.P. #9 for sure ("Hi-ho, Hi-ho"). I hope we can look again at our living space project or even much simpler, begin a puzzle together. I am SO looking forward to that one!
And that is my Husband Project update! I hope to post again (and this time much sooner as I will be STAYING on that bandwagon) with some more highlights and future projects. Stay tuned!
P.S. Make sure to check out the Husband Project and other books by Kathi Lipp!
About time I updated on my Husband Project, eh? Needless to say, it has been difficult keeping up. Hard to make your husband crispy ranch dressing chicken when he just got his wisdom teeth taken out. With a busy schedule (2 part time jobs), my 14 year old sister in law living with us for a while, a crazy dramatic divorce on Hubby's side of family, and continuously getting larger due to a pregnancy (31 weeks ya'll!), I have been finding it very difficult to even sit down for longer than 10 minutes. But now Hubby is getting over the hump of wisdom teeth recovery, its time I jump back on the band wagon for good.
First, I will give you some highlights of past project days!
I did H.P. #4 Heart vs. Stomach on my second day and it went over pretty well. I bought him some Reese Pieces for our trip up to the cabin. I made sure to make it extra special by hand writing a little card that said "I love you to Pieces!!" on the front. Super creative :)
I completed H.P. #3 on day four ( You da' Man!). Completing this project at the cabin was easier because there were plenty of people around to listen to me brag about my husband. I talked about how awesome he was for coming up with our living space makeover idea. I still think its so cute that he came up with it by himself!!
For H.P. #1, done on my sixth day of the challenge, I did a walk through of my house from garage to bedroom to assess how it made me feel, and then tried to change any stressful spots or eyesores so the view would be perfect for Hubby's return from work. I've also been working on being proactive with having dinner plans made every night, even if it turns out to just be frozen pizza.
Well for the next week now I would like to complete H.Ps. #17, 13, 12, 16, and 9 for sure. Some other ones might still have to wait until he can eat normal foods again.
#17, Playing Hooky, is on the docket for today. Ideally I would like to get his car get an oil check, air in tires, filled with gas, and washed. But with so many time constraints lately I might be settling for just a car wash. I will take it a step further though and buy a Caribou or Subway gift card to stick in his drink holder
Tomorrow, since I work a longer shift, I will be keeping it simpler and work on completing H.P. #12 "Gotcha!". I'm sure I can find plenty of thinks to praise/thank him for. Right?? :0D
Sunday is my day off! Finally!! That is when I hope to check off H.P. #9 for sure ("Hi-ho, Hi-ho"). I hope we can look again at our living space project or even much simpler, begin a puzzle together. I am SO looking forward to that one!
And that is my Husband Project update! I hope to post again (and this time much sooner as I will be STAYING on that bandwagon) with some more highlights and future projects. Stay tuned!
P.S. Make sure to check out the Husband Project and other books by Kathi Lipp!
Labels:
marriage
Saturday, August 25, 2012
A Tidbit from the Message
Hello Bloggy,
Today I wanted to share a passage from the Message with you, from Luke chapter 12
"Don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or if the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your inner life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. ...Has anyone ever by fussing before the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? If fussing can't even do that, why fuss at all?...What I am trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don't be afraid of missing out. You're my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself."
Doesn't that make you feel foolish about trying to fit into the the latest fad?? I know I usually don't like the latest trends but that doesn't mean that I don't fuss over my clothes, or more likely just my general outer appearance. But only people who don't know God should fuss over these things!! Yikes!
Understand however, I believe there is a difference between fussing over your appearance and looking like a slob. Especially as a wife I understand the importance of dressing up and looking good for the Hubby. But clothes shouldn't be a giant focus in our lives! They should be a background noise.
"Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1 Peter 3:4 NIV)
Can you see the difference? When we place our focus on our clothing, hair, makeup, and trying to keep up with Hollywood fashions, we act as if we don't know God!! But by allowing our inner selves shine through, we find great worth in God's sight! He is pleased with us!! How amazing!! And how simple!!
That's what I want, to please God. I want to go forward from this day and not fuss over my clothing. Let it be simple background noise. I want to have an unfading beauty! I want people to wonder where it comes from so that I may point to God and not Hollywood, or myself.
Try it with me.
Today I wanted to share a passage from the Message with you, from Luke chapter 12
"Don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or if the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your inner life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. ...Has anyone ever by fussing before the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? If fussing can't even do that, why fuss at all?...What I am trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don't be afraid of missing out. You're my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself."
Doesn't that make you feel foolish about trying to fit into the the latest fad?? I know I usually don't like the latest trends but that doesn't mean that I don't fuss over my clothes, or more likely just my general outer appearance. But only people who don't know God should fuss over these things!! Yikes!
Understand however, I believe there is a difference between fussing over your appearance and looking like a slob. Especially as a wife I understand the importance of dressing up and looking good for the Hubby. But clothes shouldn't be a giant focus in our lives! They should be a background noise.
"Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1 Peter 3:4 NIV)
Can you see the difference? When we place our focus on our clothing, hair, makeup, and trying to keep up with Hollywood fashions, we act as if we don't know God!! But by allowing our inner selves shine through, we find great worth in God's sight! He is pleased with us!! How amazing!! And how simple!!
That's what I want, to please God. I want to go forward from this day and not fuss over my clothing. Let it be simple background noise. I want to have an unfading beauty! I want people to wonder where it comes from so that I may point to God and not Hollywood, or myself.
Try it with me.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Ten Things Friday!!
Ten Goals for September
1. Continue reading through the New Testament in the Message.At LEAST one chapter every day with breakfast. (I am now 3/4 way through Luke)
2. Finish 5 books (I have fallen behind on reading and my 'to-read' pile is growing like crazy!)
3. Start adding a 10 minute work out routine to my mornings
4. Continue meal planning to work out a system that works best for Hubby and I
5. Continue Bible verse memorization.
6. "Ground" Husband at least once every other week if need be for some US time
7. Organize desk space
8. Work on upstairs living space to make more 'homey'
9. Complete ONE Pinterest craft!
10. Stay on top cheerleading projects and 'to-do's.
Got any goals for September??
1. Continue reading through the New Testament in the Message.At LEAST one chapter every day with breakfast. (I am now 3/4 way through Luke)
2. Finish 5 books (I have fallen behind on reading and my 'to-read' pile is growing like crazy!)
3. Start adding a 10 minute work out routine to my mornings
4. Continue meal planning to work out a system that works best for Hubby and I
5. Continue Bible verse memorization.
6. "Ground" Husband at least once every other week if need be for some US time
7. Organize desk space
8. Work on upstairs living space to make more 'homey'
9. Complete ONE Pinterest craft!
10. Stay on top cheerleading projects and 'to-do's.
Got any goals for September??
Labels:
lists
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Project Time!!
Hey Bloggy, let's catch you up on life:
One of my projects lately is following along with Joyful Mothering as she completes The Husband Project! The Husband Project is a GREAT book and easy to read. Click the link to learn more about it on Amazon. With this baby on the way, I have been trying to spend time now learning how to be a good mom, wife, and house maker; trying to set up good habits now so they will stick after Baby. This book is all about creating good habits in you marriage!
I read the book straight through quite quickly and as I read each chapter challenge I would journal ideas about how to make it personal for my husband.
Well yesterday was the big challenge kick-off day! I am not able to do each challenge in order, but I am trying to stick to doing all Week One challenges in week one. Yesterday I completed Project #5 "E-Flirt.com". I text Hubby frequently throughout the day and so didn't want to just send yet another text message he wouldn't respond too. I went out on a limb and sent a cute e-card instead. We would do that every so often while we were dating. No response yet however :( But that is okay! Time to keep on trucking!
While reading the book I thought this would be a breeze. I had ideas for every project, whether they were spectacular or not. I wrote out my calendar and keep it in my journal. In fact I was so excited for this project I could hardly wait for the blog challenge to start and I found myself naturally doing things for my husband that I had planned to use for the projects!! However, I have hit my first hurdle already. Day Two.'
Let me just state the obvious first: Being pregnant can be hard. I can't bend over and put socks on like normal, much less constantly pick things up off the ground that Hubby or Dog knock over. I can't waddle up and down the stairs quite as fast, and carrying laundry up and down is a serious health hazard. So needless to say as I was preparing to go out of town this weekend with Hubby, I was overexerting myself. I'm the one who has to pack the clothes, bathroom items, and food, write lists, stay organized, dog-proof the house, plus I have to spend the entire day today at work so I won't be able to do anything productive to get it all done today. I found myself quickly getting frustrated at the lack of help and understanding, and before rambling on even further, let me just say I am finding it hard to want to love on my husband right now.
But I think that is exactly what this Husband Project is all about, learning to get past our hurts, angers, frustrations and causing within us a natural-ness to love. Whether or not we feel like it.
So I am going ahead in confidence and preparing Project #4 "Heart vs. Stomach". I bought some Reese Pieces just for him to munch on in the car ride and up at the cabin this weekend. They are all for him and he doesn't have to share. I hope he realizes I still like him and find him special! Here is too hoping!!
Since I will be out of town here is my list of projects for the rest of the week:
Friday Project #2 Back in the Day
Saturday Project #3 You da' man!
Sunday Project #6 A Little hands on attention
Monday Project #1
Tuesday Project # 7 Looking Gooood for Your Man
Check out Joyful Mothering and the Husband Project! They just started!!
One of my projects lately is following along with Joyful Mothering as she completes The Husband Project! The Husband Project is a GREAT book and easy to read. Click the link to learn more about it on Amazon. With this baby on the way, I have been trying to spend time now learning how to be a good mom, wife, and house maker; trying to set up good habits now so they will stick after Baby. This book is all about creating good habits in you marriage!
I read the book straight through quite quickly and as I read each chapter challenge I would journal ideas about how to make it personal for my husband.
Well yesterday was the big challenge kick-off day! I am not able to do each challenge in order, but I am trying to stick to doing all Week One challenges in week one. Yesterday I completed Project #5 "E-Flirt.com". I text Hubby frequently throughout the day and so didn't want to just send yet another text message he wouldn't respond too. I went out on a limb and sent a cute e-card instead. We would do that every so often while we were dating. No response yet however :( But that is okay! Time to keep on trucking!
While reading the book I thought this would be a breeze. I had ideas for every project, whether they were spectacular or not. I wrote out my calendar and keep it in my journal. In fact I was so excited for this project I could hardly wait for the blog challenge to start and I found myself naturally doing things for my husband that I had planned to use for the projects!! However, I have hit my first hurdle already. Day Two.'
Let me just state the obvious first: Being pregnant can be hard. I can't bend over and put socks on like normal, much less constantly pick things up off the ground that Hubby or Dog knock over. I can't waddle up and down the stairs quite as fast, and carrying laundry up and down is a serious health hazard. So needless to say as I was preparing to go out of town this weekend with Hubby, I was overexerting myself. I'm the one who has to pack the clothes, bathroom items, and food, write lists, stay organized, dog-proof the house, plus I have to spend the entire day today at work so I won't be able to do anything productive to get it all done today. I found myself quickly getting frustrated at the lack of help and understanding, and before rambling on even further, let me just say I am finding it hard to want to love on my husband right now.
But I think that is exactly what this Husband Project is all about, learning to get past our hurts, angers, frustrations and causing within us a natural-ness to love. Whether or not we feel like it.
So I am going ahead in confidence and preparing Project #4 "Heart vs. Stomach". I bought some Reese Pieces just for him to munch on in the car ride and up at the cabin this weekend. They are all for him and he doesn't have to share. I hope he realizes I still like him and find him special! Here is too hoping!!
Since I will be out of town here is my list of projects for the rest of the week:
Friday Project #2 Back in the Day
Saturday Project #3 You da' man!
Sunday Project #6 A Little hands on attention
Monday Project #1
Tuesday Project # 7 Looking Gooood for Your Man
Check out Joyful Mothering and the Husband Project! They just started!!
Labels:
marriage
Friday, August 10, 2012
Friday List
Here are some of my fave Olympic 2012 moments!!
1. Missy Franklin
2. The Fab 5 winning GOLD
3. Pretty much most of Misty May-Treanor and Kerry Walsh games but esp against China and the winning GOLD match
4. Kirani James from Grenada winning the first ever medal for his country. I also heard this Olympics was the first time Cyprus and Guatemala won their first medals
5. Watching Oscar Pistorius run
6. Aly Raisman winning Gold on her floor routine
7. The Men's Swimming Relay!
8. I actually found it pretty exciting to watch the Netherlands gymnast Epke Zonderland's routine on horizontal bar. It was phenomenal and he won Gold!
9. Allison Felix winning the 200m final was exciting too!
10. The Opening ceremony bits including Mr. Bean and the Queen skydiving!! HAHAHA
What are some of your fave 2012 moments???
1. Missy Franklin
2. The Fab 5 winning GOLD
3. Pretty much most of Misty May-Treanor and Kerry Walsh games but esp against China and the winning GOLD match
4. Kirani James from Grenada winning the first ever medal for his country. I also heard this Olympics was the first time Cyprus and Guatemala won their first medals
5. Watching Oscar Pistorius run
6. Aly Raisman winning Gold on her floor routine
7. The Men's Swimming Relay!
8. I actually found it pretty exciting to watch the Netherlands gymnast Epke Zonderland's routine on horizontal bar. It was phenomenal and he won Gold!
9. Allison Felix winning the 200m final was exciting too!
10. The Opening ceremony bits including Mr. Bean and the Queen skydiving!! HAHAHA
What are some of your fave 2012 moments???
Labels:
lists
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Creamy Crock pot Macaroni and Cheese
Howdy Bloggy World!
Last night I tried one of my 'Time for Dinner' pins; the creamy crock pot macaroni and cheese! I have only ever used my crock pot once, and it resulted in an epic fail. This sounded like an easy second attempt, albeit a wee bit unhealthy. But when the end result is delicious??? GO FOR IT!!
Ingredients:
2 cups uncooked elbow macaroni
4 tablespoons of butter
2 1/2 cups grated sharp cheddar cheese (a lot of reviews claimed pre-shredded didn't 'stick' well, but it worked great for me!)
1/2 cup sour cream
1 (10 3/4 oz) can condensed cheddar cheese soup
1 cup milk
1/2 teaspoon mustard (dry or regular yellow seems to work. I used yellow)
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon onion powder
pinch of nutmeg (I used 2 pinches)
*A lot of crock pot mac and cheese recipes call for the use of eggs, either 1 or 3. I omitted this step and it didn't effect the flavor. A lot of other reviewers did the same
*I honestly didn't measure my seasonings, which is shocking for me. I just added what looked good for us
Steps:
1. Cook pasta for 6 minutes. Drain
2. In a medium saucepan melt and mix butter and cheese together
3. Add cheese mixture to crock pot. Combine with all other listed ingredients. Add pasta
4. Mix/Stir well!!
5. Cook on low for 2 1/2 hours. Stir occasionally. (I was not at home and didn't get to stir. The result was the sides of the crock pot got slightly crusty and may now be harder to clean)
Sorry I did not think to take any pictures!! But it was quite good, tasting almost exactly like my husband's more elaborate baked mac and cheese without the nice crunchy bread crumb topping or bigger onion pieces! I had all the ingredients in my cupboards already except the condensed cheddar soup, which I honestly didn't even know was a thing.
This recipe has bolstered my confidence in the crock pot so I am thinking of adding another crock pot recipe to the the menu next week! Stay tuned!
Last night I tried one of my 'Time for Dinner' pins; the creamy crock pot macaroni and cheese! I have only ever used my crock pot once, and it resulted in an epic fail. This sounded like an easy second attempt, albeit a wee bit unhealthy. But when the end result is delicious??? GO FOR IT!!
Ingredients:
2 cups uncooked elbow macaroni
4 tablespoons of butter
2 1/2 cups grated sharp cheddar cheese (a lot of reviews claimed pre-shredded didn't 'stick' well, but it worked great for me!)
1/2 cup sour cream
1 (10 3/4 oz) can condensed cheddar cheese soup
1 cup milk
1/2 teaspoon mustard (dry or regular yellow seems to work. I used yellow)
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon onion powder
pinch of nutmeg (I used 2 pinches)
*A lot of crock pot mac and cheese recipes call for the use of eggs, either 1 or 3. I omitted this step and it didn't effect the flavor. A lot of other reviewers did the same
*I honestly didn't measure my seasonings, which is shocking for me. I just added what looked good for us
Steps:
1. Cook pasta for 6 minutes. Drain
2. In a medium saucepan melt and mix butter and cheese together
3. Add cheese mixture to crock pot. Combine with all other listed ingredients. Add pasta
4. Mix/Stir well!!
5. Cook on low for 2 1/2 hours. Stir occasionally. (I was not at home and didn't get to stir. The result was the sides of the crock pot got slightly crusty and may now be harder to clean)
Sorry I did not think to take any pictures!! But it was quite good, tasting almost exactly like my husband's more elaborate baked mac and cheese without the nice crunchy bread crumb topping or bigger onion pieces! I had all the ingredients in my cupboards already except the condensed cheddar soup, which I honestly didn't even know was a thing.
This recipe has bolstered my confidence in the crock pot so I am thinking of adding another crock pot recipe to the the menu next week! Stay tuned!
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Cookie-Ception
Hello Bloggy.
Sorry I missed TWO Top 10 Fridays!! I was on vacation with the fam. And it was wonderful! I wish it never ended!!
Here is a baking Pinterest project I tried a while back. I call it Cookie-Ception as it is a cookie within a cookie. It is NOT complicated by any means and is SUPER easy to construct (and then eat!). Follow along closely so you don't get confused:
Sorry I missed TWO Top 10 Fridays!! I was on vacation with the fam. And it was wonderful! I wish it never ended!!
Here is a baking Pinterest project I tried a while back. I call it Cookie-Ception as it is a cookie within a cookie. It is NOT complicated by any means and is SUPER easy to construct (and then eat!). Follow along closely so you don't get confused:
Step One: Buy some pre-made cookie dough and a package of Oreos (double stuff is great!)
Step Two: Pre-heat the oven according to the directions on the package of cookie dough
Step Three: Spoon about a 1/2 inch to 1 inch cookie dough onto a greased cookie sheet. Form into a patty
Step Four: Place Oreo on top of cookie patty.
Step Five: Form another cookie patty on top of the Oreo
Step Six: Try to pinch the cookie patties together around the edges of the Oreo
Step Seven: Bake the cookies according to the package of cookie dough.
Make sure to cool completely before eating!
Voila! Cookie-Ception!! Tasty and easy and quick! Hard to beat!
Check out this Pin on my Baking Board, and all my other boards on Pinterest!!
Labels:
baking
Thursday, July 26, 2012
T Minus One Day!
I am SOOOOOOOOOOO excited for the Olympics to start! Opening Ceremony is tomorrow night at 7:30pm. I love having the TV on 24/7 with all the fun sports and games playing in the background. I never want to miss a moment. Plus, I love the summer Olympics the most!! I hope not to miss rhythmic gymnastics, that thing is BOMB!!
So...as you can tell I am excited. I guess I better leave it there than :oD
Well, I also wanted to notify the press that *somehow* my dog lives. Two nights ago now she ate a pretty large quantity of grapes. Grapes are known to be toxic and even fatal to dogs. They can cause kidney failure and eventually a very, painful death. I was so mad at her for doing something so dumb!! I have left grapes on the counters before and she never paid them any heed, but for some reason that night she must have been hungry!
So...as you can tell I am excited. I guess I better leave it there than :oD
Well, I also wanted to notify the press that *somehow* my dog lives. Two nights ago now she ate a pretty large quantity of grapes. Grapes are known to be toxic and even fatal to dogs. They can cause kidney failure and eventually a very, painful death. I was so mad at her for doing something so dumb!! I have left grapes on the counters before and she never paid them any heed, but for some reason that night she must have been hungry!
She ate at LEAST that many. So you can see why we were so concerned. But besides seemingly having a slight buzz, Jade acted perfectly normal. Dumb dog.
Slightly related to my Dumb Dog: Can I share my love of my new Dirt Devil vacuum?? It is because of Jade's extreme hair loss that I even had to buy the thing. We have to vacuum/sweep at LEAST once a day, and it can be pretty hard to vacuum while pregnant. So Hubby graciously allowed me to buy the lightweight Dirt Devil. It converts into a hand held vacuum with a detailer!! I hugged it all the way to the check out line at Target the day we bought it.
This is the handheld part right after I used it yesterday and gave it a good washing. What a yummy color blue!!
So ad-midst a stressful time in my life, the above are 3 things to be excited about!! Woo HOO! Thanks for listening!
Friday, July 20, 2012
yet another 10 Things Friday!
Here is a list of my next 10 books to read/finish!!
1. Pharisectomy by Peter Haas
2. Insurgent by Veronica Roth
3. Your Marriage CAN Survive a newborn by Natalie Williams
4. The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom
5. Winning Balance by Shawn Johnson
6. Full Dark House by Christopher Fowler
7. The Duggars: 20 and Counting! by the Duggars!
8. Organized Simplicity by Tsh Oxenreider
9. Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggrichs
10. One Bite at a Time by Tsh Oxenreider
okay, since I posted so late:
11. Help Wanted: Moms Raising Daughters by Darlene Brock
Happy Friday Night, Yo!
1. Pharisectomy by Peter Haas
2. Insurgent by Veronica Roth
3. Your Marriage CAN Survive a newborn by Natalie Williams
4. The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom
5. Winning Balance by Shawn Johnson
6. Full Dark House by Christopher Fowler
7. The Duggars: 20 and Counting! by the Duggars!
8. Organized Simplicity by Tsh Oxenreider
9. Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggrichs
10. One Bite at a Time by Tsh Oxenreider
okay, since I posted so late:
11. Help Wanted: Moms Raising Daughters by Darlene Brock
Happy Friday Night, Yo!
Labels:
lists
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
*Big Breath* Continue
Okay Bloggy, let's see if I can get this all out of my head, on 'paper', AND make sense!
Somehow, Hubby and I made it back to the car where I promptly burst into tears. When he asked if they were happy tears or sad tears, I couldn't even pretend to guess! It all felt so overwhelming. Our love had created a child=JOY! But we just decided to not have children= CONFUSION! Plus I was petrified of giving birth=MAJOR FEAR! I didn't know which emotion to go after, and thus went after them all and sobbed like crazy.
To calm myself down we started discussing whether we should tell our parents. I knew I needed my mom to know right away so we started thinking of ways to tell her. We ended up telling my parents, my 2 sisters, and his dad that day. Oddly enough the resounding response was "How did that happen?!" :) ("Hey baby..") All of our family knew we weren't too keen on kids and that we knew NOTHING about them. I think I had held a newborn like, 3 times in my life. I just kept repeating our previous discussion and ended it with "God knows what He is doing!"
But did I really believe that??
As we told more family and friends, I began to feel alienated. Here everyone was rejoicing and completely excited for me. Why didn't I feel that excited? Was something wrong with me? Did I not love this child? Would I ever get excited over having a child??
Time continued on... I didn't get any morning sickness, but felt nauseous pretty much all the time. I wore sea-bands, drank ginger ale and sprite, and ate saltines like they were going out of style. The extreme fatigue really hit me towards the middle and end of the first trimester. I could sleep for hours during the day and still sleep all through the night, minus the frequent bathroom trips of course.! I also got some pretty bad migraines. This was miserable for me because I couldn't take my migraine medication any longer! It was so frustrating to be in so much pain and have the perfect remedy within reach, yet not be able to take it. I found caffeine plus Tylenol worked great for me. Although I know plenty of women say to avoid caffeine while pregnant, I would have gone bonkers with out it! I would only drink half a cup a day and it would help with the extreme fatigue and migraines. Miracle drug.
The worst symptom for me was the extreme hunger!! Man alive! I could eat all day and still feel STARVED. No matter what I ate, whole wheat foods, proteins, fruits, crackers, sugars, or how much I ate I always felt hungry within half an hour of my last meal. I stepped up my H20 intake thinking maybe I was mistaking thirst as hunger, but that didn't help either. My lowest point: I ran to Subway and bought myself a foot long sub and cookies and ate the whole thing in an effort to feel full. 15 minutes later I felt hungry again!! I literally burst into tears I was so frustrated. It took about 2 1/2-3 weeks for me to get that under control. Unfortunately I gained a lot more weight than I should have very early on in the pregnancy.
Don't even get me started on the emotional beating I took on gaining weight. Do you understand how hard it is to watch yourself gain weight and you can't do a thing about it?? Being pregnant means gaining weight. Tough on a girl who was still trying to work on her health and self-esteem.
Enough with the symptoms. The emotional side of things was the worst. I was already confused because everyone around me seemed so happy and I didn't feel the same. I began doubting myself hardcore. I just knew I would be a horrible mom. Friends would contradict that thought, but they didn't know how I felt inside: I resented the baby.
Plain and simple. A baby would ruin everything! It would change my relationship with my husband right when we had gotten to a fantastic spot. It would suck all the money right out of us! Hubby and I were living comfortably in our apartment. We could eat out often and pay all the bills. A baby would take away all my free time! I love to read; would I ever be able to finish another book again with a baby to care for? All our travel plans flew right out the window. This wasn't how we had wanted our lives to be. We loved being footloose and fancy free!!
I couldn't share these thoughts with anyone. Sometimes I would make a small effort, but I would always be shot down and contradicted. I was too scared to tell my husband, afraid he would be disappointed in me. I felt like no one understood, that no one wanted to listen. I became CERTAIN I was insane and would try to force myself to feel otherwise. That just made it worse.
Finally, I had my first doctor's appointment with an OB-GYN. It was time to hear the heartbeat and prove to myself it was all real and happening. Only. She couldn't find the heartbeat. I didn't feel concerned about it at first but the Doctor kept trying to reassure me and scheduled an ultrasound for later in the day. Her reassurances and urgency actually made me feel worse. I spent the afternoon by myself in dark thoughts. Perhaps even my body had failed the baby. 'Would I be upset if the baby hadn't made it??' This thought shocked me, but was also my best defense in the moment. Perhaps if the baby was lost, Hubby and I could just move on with our lives. Go back to normal.
It was dark, depressing, and quite frankly, disgusting.
Needless to say, the heartbeat WAS found at the ultrasound. I got my first glimpses of the baby growing inside of me. Those first photos grounded me, made me face reality, and forced me to accept a new future. I now think of it as a secret blessing from God.
I am not going to claim that my selfish depression ended then and there. I still had to work towards complete acceptance and excitement. I've read several baby books and parenting books since then and feel more confident on caring for a child than before. I wish I had bought them all so I could always reference them, but I think I will just have to figure it all out as I go.
Since the second ultrasound and finding out I am having a baby girl, life has been sunnier. I adore shopping for baby clothes and hubby and I slowly, very slowly, trying to find the perfect name. I am trying to view it as an adventure and prepare for it as such. I had become so upset/depressed I forgot about God there for awhile and now I am turning back to Him and trying to release my fears and the baby into His perfect hands. This one thing I do know: God will be the One to keep baby safe, not me!! :)
This should conclude the 'Finding Out I am Pregnant' story, condensed version.
Somehow, Hubby and I made it back to the car where I promptly burst into tears. When he asked if they were happy tears or sad tears, I couldn't even pretend to guess! It all felt so overwhelming. Our love had created a child=JOY! But we just decided to not have children= CONFUSION! Plus I was petrified of giving birth=MAJOR FEAR! I didn't know which emotion to go after, and thus went after them all and sobbed like crazy.
To calm myself down we started discussing whether we should tell our parents. I knew I needed my mom to know right away so we started thinking of ways to tell her. We ended up telling my parents, my 2 sisters, and his dad that day. Oddly enough the resounding response was "How did that happen?!" :) ("Hey baby..") All of our family knew we weren't too keen on kids and that we knew NOTHING about them. I think I had held a newborn like, 3 times in my life. I just kept repeating our previous discussion and ended it with "God knows what He is doing!"
But did I really believe that??
As we told more family and friends, I began to feel alienated. Here everyone was rejoicing and completely excited for me. Why didn't I feel that excited? Was something wrong with me? Did I not love this child? Would I ever get excited over having a child??
Time continued on... I didn't get any morning sickness, but felt nauseous pretty much all the time. I wore sea-bands, drank ginger ale and sprite, and ate saltines like they were going out of style. The extreme fatigue really hit me towards the middle and end of the first trimester. I could sleep for hours during the day and still sleep all through the night, minus the frequent bathroom trips of course.! I also got some pretty bad migraines. This was miserable for me because I couldn't take my migraine medication any longer! It was so frustrating to be in so much pain and have the perfect remedy within reach, yet not be able to take it. I found caffeine plus Tylenol worked great for me. Although I know plenty of women say to avoid caffeine while pregnant, I would have gone bonkers with out it! I would only drink half a cup a day and it would help with the extreme fatigue and migraines. Miracle drug.
The worst symptom for me was the extreme hunger!! Man alive! I could eat all day and still feel STARVED. No matter what I ate, whole wheat foods, proteins, fruits, crackers, sugars, or how much I ate I always felt hungry within half an hour of my last meal. I stepped up my H20 intake thinking maybe I was mistaking thirst as hunger, but that didn't help either. My lowest point: I ran to Subway and bought myself a foot long sub and cookies and ate the whole thing in an effort to feel full. 15 minutes later I felt hungry again!! I literally burst into tears I was so frustrated. It took about 2 1/2-3 weeks for me to get that under control. Unfortunately I gained a lot more weight than I should have very early on in the pregnancy.
Don't even get me started on the emotional beating I took on gaining weight. Do you understand how hard it is to watch yourself gain weight and you can't do a thing about it?? Being pregnant means gaining weight. Tough on a girl who was still trying to work on her health and self-esteem.
Enough with the symptoms. The emotional side of things was the worst. I was already confused because everyone around me seemed so happy and I didn't feel the same. I began doubting myself hardcore. I just knew I would be a horrible mom. Friends would contradict that thought, but they didn't know how I felt inside: I resented the baby.
Plain and simple. A baby would ruin everything! It would change my relationship with my husband right when we had gotten to a fantastic spot. It would suck all the money right out of us! Hubby and I were living comfortably in our apartment. We could eat out often and pay all the bills. A baby would take away all my free time! I love to read; would I ever be able to finish another book again with a baby to care for? All our travel plans flew right out the window. This wasn't how we had wanted our lives to be. We loved being footloose and fancy free!!
I couldn't share these thoughts with anyone. Sometimes I would make a small effort, but I would always be shot down and contradicted. I was too scared to tell my husband, afraid he would be disappointed in me. I felt like no one understood, that no one wanted to listen. I became CERTAIN I was insane and would try to force myself to feel otherwise. That just made it worse.
Finally, I had my first doctor's appointment with an OB-GYN. It was time to hear the heartbeat and prove to myself it was all real and happening. Only. She couldn't find the heartbeat. I didn't feel concerned about it at first but the Doctor kept trying to reassure me and scheduled an ultrasound for later in the day. Her reassurances and urgency actually made me feel worse. I spent the afternoon by myself in dark thoughts. Perhaps even my body had failed the baby. 'Would I be upset if the baby hadn't made it??' This thought shocked me, but was also my best defense in the moment. Perhaps if the baby was lost, Hubby and I could just move on with our lives. Go back to normal.
It was dark, depressing, and quite frankly, disgusting.
Needless to say, the heartbeat WAS found at the ultrasound. I got my first glimpses of the baby growing inside of me. Those first photos grounded me, made me face reality, and forced me to accept a new future. I now think of it as a secret blessing from God.
I am not going to claim that my selfish depression ended then and there. I still had to work towards complete acceptance and excitement. I've read several baby books and parenting books since then and feel more confident on caring for a child than before. I wish I had bought them all so I could always reference them, but I think I will just have to figure it all out as I go.
Since the second ultrasound and finding out I am having a baby girl, life has been sunnier. I adore shopping for baby clothes and hubby and I slowly, very slowly, trying to find the perfect name. I am trying to view it as an adventure and prepare for it as such. I had become so upset/depressed I forgot about God there for awhile and now I am turning back to Him and trying to release my fears and the baby into His perfect hands. This one thing I do know: God will be the One to keep baby safe, not me!! :)
This should conclude the 'Finding Out I am Pregnant' story, condensed version.
Labels:
motherhood
Friday, July 13, 2012
Top 10 Friday #2
As you can tell, I may be avoiding the rest of the pregnancy story. Yup.
10 Reasons Jade is OK
1. She can look cute
2. She behaves so well in the car
3. She will always eat your leftover chicken/steak. All you have to do is leave it on the counter!!
4. She eats all the tall grass in our yard
5. She gets me out of the house more often
6. Keeps me active
7. Behaves well in Obedience Class
8. looks super cute when she is 'depressed' because she has her gentle leader on
9. uh...........Jaren likes her!
10. um.... She really likes people.
WHEW! Glad I could make it through that one!!
10 Reasons Jade is OK
1. She can look cute
2. She behaves so well in the car
3. She will always eat your leftover chicken/steak. All you have to do is leave it on the counter!!
4. She eats all the tall grass in our yard
5. She gets me out of the house more often
6. Keeps me active
7. Behaves well in Obedience Class
8. looks super cute when she is 'depressed' because she has her gentle leader on
9. uh...........Jaren likes her!
10. um.... She really likes people.
WHEW! Glad I could make it through that one!!
Labels:
lists
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Another Link!
Here is another post link:
http://womenlivingwell.org/2012/05/you-are-equipped-for-motherhood/
This one I found highly encouraging and will probably need to read, and read and re-read.
http://womenlivingwell.org/2012/05/you-are-equipped-for-motherhood/
This one I found highly encouraging and will probably need to read, and read and re-read.
Labels:
motherhood
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
An interesting point on 'natural childbirth'
http://www.feminagirls.com/2012/07/06/natural-and-cursed/
Follow this link to a interesting, perhaps a little snarky, article on 'natural' childbirth.
Follow this link to a interesting, perhaps a little snarky, article on 'natural' childbirth.
Labels:
motherhood
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
The Life Changer
Well Hello Bloggy World.
I've been cruising the Blog Scene lately, finding all sorts of wonderful blogs (try intentionalbygrace.com and join their scripture memory challenge! it's only week 2!) about God, homemaking, raising children, going green, surviving as a mom, and a combination of all of the above. However, I have been having a REALLY hard time finding a blog about being pregnant. Sure a lot of those blogs include a brief pregnancy section which mostly includes articles about fending off morning sickness and eating healthy (is it really MY fault that vegetables are a huge turn off for me right now??). But man, being pregnant brings a whole host of EMOTION. And I am not even talking about the hormones, I'm just talking about how overwhelming it can be to do/think about, and yet no one ever seems to talk about that much.
So here is the beginning of My Story:
It was this past late January/early February and the Hubs and I were sitting down to a nice romantic, candlelit dinner with a bottle of wine. (No this isn't how baby was conceived :))) We were polishing of the delicious bottle of vino and got to talking about the future and our plans, and especially if we thought children might be involved. Eventually, we both came to the conclusion that the only reason we had thought about children thus far was because of family and societal pressures Then we brilliantly thought 'Hey, that is not a very good reason for having a child!'. Both of us were fine with perhaps never having kids and we started imagining all sorts of life possibilities; both of us going back to school, travelling, knocking off the Bucket List items. It was going to be wonderful!
But then I said, "If God wants us to have a child, He will place the kid in me and it will be born no matter what, birth control or not!" and I did truly believe it. But I also sort of just said it and forgot about it at the time.
Fast forward like a week or two and it was Aunt Flo time. I started getting this big, heavy cramps...but no bleeding. For a few days this went on before I got really weirded out. Of course this lead to me searching the good ole trusty webmd.com.
Conclusion: Ovarian Cancer.
For sure.
So I called the doc and they set me up an appointment relatively soon. I was nervous and scared so didn't tell Hubby about said appointment until we were at the coffee shop that morning. He asked if I thought I was pregnant and I said "I don't think so!" I mean, I didn't have all those "Big Clues" like sore breasts or morning sickness, just these never ending cramps. Luckily, I have a great husband and he agreed to come with me to the doctor's office that afternoon.
At the appointment, I don't think pregnancy was hardly mentioned. They may have asked if I thought I might be and I said the same thing I had told Hubby. So they made me pee in a cup and have a "Lady Check" (sorry Hubs for having to witness that one!). Then they left us in the room for 10 nerve wracking minutes. I had no idea what they were even testing for! Can you detect ovarian cancer from urine??
But sure enough the doc walks back in and simply says "Well, you tested positive."
"What does that mean?!?!" --me freaked out.
"It means your pregnant."-- husband calmly.
The doctor kept talking but really I heard a lot of this:
To be continued.. :)
I've been cruising the Blog Scene lately, finding all sorts of wonderful blogs (try intentionalbygrace.com and join their scripture memory challenge! it's only week 2!) about God, homemaking, raising children, going green, surviving as a mom, and a combination of all of the above. However, I have been having a REALLY hard time finding a blog about being pregnant. Sure a lot of those blogs include a brief pregnancy section which mostly includes articles about fending off morning sickness and eating healthy (is it really MY fault that vegetables are a huge turn off for me right now??). But man, being pregnant brings a whole host of EMOTION. And I am not even talking about the hormones, I'm just talking about how overwhelming it can be to do/think about, and yet no one ever seems to talk about that much.
So here is the beginning of My Story:
It was this past late January/early February and the Hubs and I were sitting down to a nice romantic, candlelit dinner with a bottle of wine. (No this isn't how baby was conceived :))) We were polishing of the delicious bottle of vino and got to talking about the future and our plans, and especially if we thought children might be involved. Eventually, we both came to the conclusion that the only reason we had thought about children thus far was because of family and societal pressures Then we brilliantly thought 'Hey, that is not a very good reason for having a child!'. Both of us were fine with perhaps never having kids and we started imagining all sorts of life possibilities; both of us going back to school, travelling, knocking off the Bucket List items. It was going to be wonderful!
But then I said, "If God wants us to have a child, He will place the kid in me and it will be born no matter what, birth control or not!" and I did truly believe it. But I also sort of just said it and forgot about it at the time.
Fast forward like a week or two and it was Aunt Flo time. I started getting this big, heavy cramps...but no bleeding. For a few days this went on before I got really weirded out. Of course this lead to me searching the good ole trusty webmd.com.
Conclusion: Ovarian Cancer.
For sure.
So I called the doc and they set me up an appointment relatively soon. I was nervous and scared so didn't tell Hubby about said appointment until we were at the coffee shop that morning. He asked if I thought I was pregnant and I said "I don't think so!" I mean, I didn't have all those "Big Clues" like sore breasts or morning sickness, just these never ending cramps. Luckily, I have a great husband and he agreed to come with me to the doctor's office that afternoon.
At the appointment, I don't think pregnancy was hardly mentioned. They may have asked if I thought I might be and I said the same thing I had told Hubby. So they made me pee in a cup and have a "Lady Check" (sorry Hubs for having to witness that one!). Then they left us in the room for 10 nerve wracking minutes. I had no idea what they were even testing for! Can you detect ovarian cancer from urine??
But sure enough the doc walks back in and simply says "Well, you tested positive."
"What does that mean?!?!" --me freaked out.
"It means your pregnant."-- husband calmly.
The doctor kept talking but really I heard a lot of this:
To be continued.. :)
Labels:
motherhood
Friday, July 6, 2012
10 Things Fridays
Hello Bloggy.
Today is Friday.
Today I am going to list 10 Things
Hence the Blog Title :)
10 Reasons my Husband is Awesome
1. He loves to cook and make up new recipes
2. He loves me
3. He puts up with my pregnancy hormones/cravings
4. He works hard and is good at his job!
5. He can be caught washing the dishes on occasion
6. He always makes me smile, if not laugh
7. He is going to be an adorable father!!
8. He buys me sour gummy worms
9. He respects me
10. He has been occasionally known to listen to me :0D
Today is Friday.
Today I am going to list 10 Things
Hence the Blog Title :)
10 Reasons my Husband is Awesome
1. He loves to cook and make up new recipes
2. He loves me
3. He puts up with my pregnancy hormones/cravings
4. He works hard and is good at his job!
5. He can be caught washing the dishes on occasion
6. He always makes me smile, if not laugh
7. He is going to be an adorable father!!
8. He buys me sour gummy worms
9. He respects me
10. He has been occasionally known to listen to me :0D
Labels:
lists
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
James 1:27
I wanted to share a quick thought with you, Bloggy, about James 1:27. Here is the verse:
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
Now don't think I am trying to downplay the importance of the beginning part of the verse or any such thing, but I have found it interesting how often the second part of the verse is overlooked. 'To keep oneself from being polluted by the world'.
This has really hit me. First, through a friend telling me about a dream she had recently that involved a shopping mall and her trying to resist buying stuff while me and some other friends dove right into the racks and got lost.
Oops. Its true. I love to shop when I get the opportunity.
But I am also reading the book called 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker. For seven months she focused on seven areas of her life; food, clothes, possessions, media, waste, spending, and stress. For example, with clothing, for 31 days she only wore seven articles of clothing and documented how she felt and what she discovered. This book is really forcing me to look at my own life and how I might be becoming polluted by the world. I don't have that many items of clothing, but I do use them to hide behind, and a lot of what I have I hardly wear. I waste too much food and take so much of it for granted. I went a week without Facebook once, but email and Netflix?? Yikes!!
I don't know where 7 will lead me or where James will lead me, but I know Jesus WILL lead me (pull me, or even drag me) to where I need to be. I want more and more possessions, but I also want more and more quality time in my life. I don't think I can have both.
The result?? I still have no idea.
But I hope you will at least stop to consider the second half of this verse. Stop and think about how immersed you are in this world, and how the Church is immersed in this world. And try to think of at least one, itsy bitsy thing to do about it.
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:...to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Back Again.
Hello Bloggy World.
Sorry for the hiatus, but I had a lot of busy stuff going on in life and blogging got pushed into the shadows. Even still this blog might not be that interesting for everyone. This is the blog in which I complain about my dog.
We bought Jade from the Animal Humane Society, probably about three weeks ago now. We were torn between her and an adorable puppy, but Hubby went with Jade figuring she was probably potty trained at the very least. She is one year old black lab/retriever mix. She also weighed 52 pounds already when we adopted her, which is close to my ability to manhandle her when needed.
She has tested and broken through my patience limit about a zillion times. I think for the first five days I had to spend the day with her alone (while Hubby is at work), I sobbed. Like a baby. She was just too obnoxious and mean to me. And I felt horrible because I didn't want her because I was the person who wanted a dog the most. I wanted a dog for MONTHS. YEARS. But Jade just isn't quite the dog I was looking for. Jade has always been pretty much an angel for Hubby, she loved him from the beginning. Me on the other hand.....she barks and challenges me constantly. Only for the last two days have I been able to use the computer and not have her bark at me, or me having to lock her up.
My mornings are shot. Instead of nice, relaxing mornings where I get to read, watch the news, drink a little coffee, check my email....I now have to be outside with her or she will bark at me while I eat breakfast, I have to supervising her constantly or she will bark at the empty street, I have to play with her to keep her occupied and out of the bathroom garbage (her new favorite sport). I usually wake up at 8, deal with the dog until about 9:30 and then get ready to go somewhere, anywhere out of the house. I find excuses for errands now just to get away from her. Sometimes I take her with in the car because it is the only thing she does very well. Jade can sit in the back seat of the car and just chill. Plus she doesn't care if I leave and go into Target for awhile.
Romantic evenings in with the Hubby? Forget about it. We can hardly get through dinner much less a movie without Jade barking or crawling all over him. Cuddling is now non-existent in this household. Oh, and have I mentioned she has now run away 3 times? Only returning because we had her squeaky ball?
Even though I have started to like her a little more now, I still don't think I would be heartbroken if someone wanted to take Jade from us. Within days of having her, I wanted to bring her back. But now we have put so much money into her (vet, toys, obedience classes) that I can't justify just giving her up. However! If someone wanted to BUY her, I would be all over that!! Hubby would probably disagree because Jade has liked him from the beginning.
Sigh. So again probably not the Blog the Bloggy World wanted. But it is the one you are getting.
Sorry for the hiatus, but I had a lot of busy stuff going on in life and blogging got pushed into the shadows. Even still this blog might not be that interesting for everyone. This is the blog in which I complain about my dog.
We bought Jade from the Animal Humane Society, probably about three weeks ago now. We were torn between her and an adorable puppy, but Hubby went with Jade figuring she was probably potty trained at the very least. She is one year old black lab/retriever mix. She also weighed 52 pounds already when we adopted her, which is close to my ability to manhandle her when needed.
She has tested and broken through my patience limit about a zillion times. I think for the first five days I had to spend the day with her alone (while Hubby is at work), I sobbed. Like a baby. She was just too obnoxious and mean to me. And I felt horrible because I didn't want her because I was the person who wanted a dog the most. I wanted a dog for MONTHS. YEARS. But Jade just isn't quite the dog I was looking for. Jade has always been pretty much an angel for Hubby, she loved him from the beginning. Me on the other hand.....she barks and challenges me constantly. Only for the last two days have I been able to use the computer and not have her bark at me, or me having to lock her up.
My mornings are shot. Instead of nice, relaxing mornings where I get to read, watch the news, drink a little coffee, check my email....I now have to be outside with her or she will bark at me while I eat breakfast, I have to supervising her constantly or she will bark at the empty street, I have to play with her to keep her occupied and out of the bathroom garbage (her new favorite sport). I usually wake up at 8, deal with the dog until about 9:30 and then get ready to go somewhere, anywhere out of the house. I find excuses for errands now just to get away from her. Sometimes I take her with in the car because it is the only thing she does very well. Jade can sit in the back seat of the car and just chill. Plus she doesn't care if I leave and go into Target for awhile.
Romantic evenings in with the Hubby? Forget about it. We can hardly get through dinner much less a movie without Jade barking or crawling all over him. Cuddling is now non-existent in this household. Oh, and have I mentioned she has now run away 3 times? Only returning because we had her squeaky ball?
Even though I have started to like her a little more now, I still don't think I would be heartbroken if someone wanted to take Jade from us. Within days of having her, I wanted to bring her back. But now we have put so much money into her (vet, toys, obedience classes) that I can't justify just giving her up. However! If someone wanted to BUY her, I would be all over that!! Hubby would probably disagree because Jade has liked him from the beginning.
Sigh. So again probably not the Blog the Bloggy World wanted. But it is the one you are getting.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Check this out...
Hello bloggy world!!
Wanted to share with you a great new blog I ran across: youngwifesguide.com. This month she is doing a series called "31 Days to a Patio Vegetable Garden". I am pretty excited to give it a shot. I have thus far in my life proven to have a black thumb (inherited from YOU mom), so I am heading in to this with apprehension and doubt. But vegetable gardening is always something I wanted to try and it would help Hubby and I eat healthier and save money at the grocery!
Here's to giving it a shot!!
Follow along here:
http://youngwifesguide.com/31-days-to-a-patio-vegetable-garden-intro/
Wanted to share with you a great new blog I ran across: youngwifesguide.com. This month she is doing a series called "31 Days to a Patio Vegetable Garden". I am pretty excited to give it a shot. I have thus far in my life proven to have a black thumb (inherited from YOU mom), so I am heading in to this with apprehension and doubt. But vegetable gardening is always something I wanted to try and it would help Hubby and I eat healthier and save money at the grocery!
Here's to giving it a shot!!
Follow along here:
http://youngwifesguide.com/31-days-to-a-patio-vegetable-garden-intro/
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Current Projects
Hello Bloggy!
Here's an update on what I am doing:
1) I am following the 30daysoflists.blogspot.com. I am not much for paying for these sort of things, but right now if you scroll down their home page they are offering the complete collection from March 2011. I think I am on Day 4 now, but here is a picture from my Day one:
2) I discovered this book at Barnes and Nobles::
It's pretty awesome. At first I was considering a different one and thought this one would be great for my a-type older sister (who told me once before she has problems being random!)
So, today I randomly opened up to a page. It said I should tape some blank pages together and then tape them to the book so they could fold in. And then spill something on it. The next picture might look disturbing::
But its great to me!! I guess I would have preferred some awesome pink and purple paints. But that wouldn't have been random. Or creative. And less like a mistake. Instead I laid it out on my kitchen floor, turned around and spotted some sriracha sauce, and grabbed it without a second thought. I admit it was quite satisfactory to squirt it about. And then since I was holding my cold coffee in hand I thought "What the heck!" And dumped that on too.
I let it lay about and dry for a while and then folded it up and mashed it up and stuck it out on the deck, hoping the freezing air would do it some good. Right now its under 5 old textbooks.
The one and only problem?? Sriracha sauce can sure be stinky!! I wonder, why didn't I choose something more awesome like...chocolate sauce? I guess sitting and thinking about my medium would have defeated the purpose of random, improvisation, and learning to make mistakes!! So I think I took this book to heart quite literally and made a MESS
3) I am reading Magnificent Obsession by Anne Graham Lotz. Took me about 120 pages but I think I get it now. Or at least I got ...something. Maybe an answer to a deep conversation I had last night with a dear friend. Perhaps a step in the right direction at the very least.
4) I REALLY WANT A PUPPY. NOW.
Good bye bloggy world.
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