Today I am linking up with my (in)motherhood group! Our topic is Motherhood in the Trenches.
I am new to motherhood. Most times however I feel like I have been a mother forever, ages and ages, and yet somehow Baby Girl just stays the same age: 4 months. I can look back on the 'golden age' of babyhood, those 3 short months where baby girl slept 8-9 hours a night and our only problem was mild reflux. Then we turned a corner into 4 months and it was like a light switch flipped.
Refusing naps. Refusing to eat well. Waking up at night. Crying for no reason. Screaming for hours. Can colic start now???
And I realize I am at the end of myself. My patience is thin and I find myself too often tossing baby off to her Daddy to deal with. I am just clueless as to how to comfort her. I rack my brain for possible explanations and I find nothing. I never felt more in a war zone trench than I do now. Bomb after bomb raining down on me and all I want to do is take cover, head down, and wait for it to pass.
I never knew I had such a lack of patience. I never knew it would be so important! But I know now that if I don't find patience and weave it into my core, I will never make it through motherhood alive and happy on the other side. But then...then I stumble across this verse::
"So that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light."
-Colossians 1:10-12 NIV
I WANT to live a life worthy of the LORD! I want to please the LORD! But how??? Three ways are given: 1. bearing fruit in every good work 2. growing in the knowledge of God and 3. being strengthened in His power.
Wow. I could unpack a LOT from just that! But the gist is---> I CANNOT please the Lord myself! I am only able to bear fruit because God blesses me with it. I can only grow in the knowledge of God through reading GOD's Word and connecting with Him daily. I can only gain God's power and strength through HIS glorious might!
I can do no good thing on my own, but only through the blessing and love of Jesus Christ.
And only then will I gain endurance and patience. I will have run the race I was given to run. I will have grown and matured in Christ until it is impossible for me to not be patient and kind.
I need to connect to the Lord daily through His Word and through prayer. So here, before you all, I am committing to run my race. I will learn to lean on God, considering it all joy when I face my trials of motherhood. I pray the that Jesus will come out of my mouth as an overflow from my heart.
So, as the bombs of motherhood rain down, as Baby Girl kicks, resists, screams, and flails, I will turn my eyes upon Jesus and give joyful thanks for qualifying me for this blessing. I will pray the same for all of my (in)motherhood friends!
This is absolutely beautiful. As the mother of a former 4 month old who is now an exquisite, challenge, willful, beautiful and blessed sweet 16, I say enjoy every monent...even the ones that have you threatening to tear your own hair out.
ReplyDeleteThe blessings exist in the little things.
Peace and good to you, supermom (yes you are).
Chelle
Thank you! I am trying to learn how to treasure all these moments in my heart. I am sure I will look back and think how easy I had it by the time I am dealing with a 16 year old :D
DeleteI love this post. Such truth. I love seeing that you are gleaning from Scripture such big truths in the midst of the hard moments of motherhood. 4-6 months can be rough. It was the roughest part of for me too. They are just developing so much mentally and it in every other way. Know you are normal and you are seen and that I can see that God is working out His good purposes in you!
ReplyDeleteIt can be so relieving just to hear that this is all normal! Thank you for your kind words!
DeleteHi Alyssa! Mandy here, from (in)motherhood... girl, I have a 3 month old baby boy, and I could have written your post! Thanks for sharing your heart - like you've already said, it's encouraging just to know what we're going through is normal. Praying for you and your little lady!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I am just clinging to the promise that everyone says it is normal and gets easier!
DeleteThis great, I have found that my sons have taught me a lot about myself and God. Thanks for sharing. Fortunately babies go through stages and colic/ hello world is just one of them. As a reflux Mommy I would say maybe look at that at the sleep enemy as it peaks between 4 and 8 months (depending on who you talk to). From (in)motherhood.
ReplyDeleteHow did you let your baby sleep? I know if I put Baby Girl on her back she gets pretty upset, so I usually have to prop her up or on her side (which is her new fave).
DeleteWe prop his mattress with some old books so he would could be on an angle and proper on his side at that age (he is now 10 months), my oldest slept on his tummy, not advised as best but it was the only way he would sleep. My youngest is medicated and that really helped with both sleep and eating.
Delete**propped
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