Unblogger

I hope you have all heard of Unblogger by Darrell Vesterfelt. I hope I am the last person to have heard of it. Why? Because everyone needs to read it!!

To many of us, myself definitely included, find ourselves struggling, growing discontent and discouraged in this world of blogging. As Darrell explains, we put blogging ahead of our story, when we should be putting our story ahead of blogging. Doing it the wrong way can cause us to manipulate our lives into something we just aren't. We are then just opening the door to frustration.

Thus, we should stop this craziness of stats, platforms, and followers. We should all walk away, pause the calendar, and get back to LIFE. Let's let LIFE lead us back to writing and blogging. And no one more than me.

This is me: "I thought if I could just figure out what I was going to do with my life I would feel better...Looking back I realize part of my mistake was I didn't need a big dream to have a calling. Life was my calling." (Unblogger, emphasis mine.)

I've been blogging awhile and I've tried all the ''secrets to success''--commenting, responding to comments, link ups, Twitter parties, the works. For 3 years. And it has never worked. I was chasing a dream, not my calling. I struggled to find my place, to find my niche.

Vesterfelt explains how our ''first calling is to live with meaning. We're called to this before we're called to write.'' I was trying to write/blog and then live. Pinterest, Twitter, Instagram have slowly and quietly snuck into my dreams. I have arranged life around blogging. I have strived for find meaning in every 'mundane' moment just to show the world: HEY! I can do this! I fit in!!

But I don't. I am a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. I want to be an unblogger.

UNBLOGGER: someone who does more than follow the formulas of blogging success, someone who longs to live a story worth telling in front of others. ...not really a blogger at all, (just someone) who lives a life of meaning and then just happens to write about it. (Unblogger quote)

What does this mean for me?
I am going to put my calling, ''life'', first. I love blogging, so I won't be quitting :)) But I'm hoping to make my homes more me slowly but surely. I'm only going to share things that I think are fun, interesting, helpful to me. My posts probably won't fit the mold of other faith and mommy blogs. I want to be more honest and real with myself. I want my blog to be an extension of me, and not me being an extension of my blog.

BUT! I also get the world isn't about just ME (so sad). Thus I will be introducing a new bi-monthly feature: fantastic other bloggers!! Yay! There is so much in this life I will never be an expert at, but I can direct you to some great writers who do know it all better than me :))

What does this mean for you?
Well. Hi mom!! :D It probably won't change much for you devoted few. My posting schedule will probably remain horrifically sporadic. And also probably a bit crazed. I'm an eclectic girl who has nothing figured out, yet wants to share life and awesomeness with the world, with you. I would adore you to come along on this wild ride. Heck! If you want to provide some track for me to lay down, I will gladly follow!! But if these words are merely thrown into empty cyberspace, well then: HELLO CYBERSPACE! Somewhere out there God is trying to grab my attention (of which I have my eyes squeezed shut and ears plugged) and I will find Him, grab His hand, and walk along, making crazy stories together. Just Me. Him. And Cyberspace.

P.S. Read Unblogger

Finding my own Niche

I hope you will excuse me this week as I wade through schmuck and regular muck and try to define myself and this place a little better. 

Hello lovey,

I've been avoiding this blog. I fell accidentally and totally into the world of book blogging with Sunrise Avenue. I wasn't quite sure I was going to turn back. Book blogging is completely different than this cruel world of mommy/faith blogging.

Yes. 

I said cruel. We all yearn to fit in, evidenced by the recent Five Minute Friday word Belong. Yet we all act so exclusive and cliqueish. Not outright I believe, but it happens. I do not exclude myself.

Is this harsh?? Mayhaps. Probably. Okay, definitely. But now that I can compare it to another world, that of book blogging, it is so much more evident. In MB (mommy blogging) there is so much pressure to host your own wordpress site. It is one of the most highly encouraged ways to get more followers. In BB (book blogging), you can have 1000s of followers with a blogspot.com site. With MB you have to have a pinnable image and be optimized for SEO. Not so with BB. BB is based in a love of books. Instafriends are made bonding over genres and words. In MB we are supposed to be instabonding because we have nothing more than Jesus in common.

Judgemental me. Sorry. Obviously there ARE exclusions on both sides. I am not trying to say one blog world is better than another by any means!! I am not trying to say people are doing it wrong or that I know what I am doing by any means. But now that I can see MB from a different angle, I am amazed. We all want to be friends and understood, but we make it so incredibly difficult for each other.

The point is this: I don't know how to fit into this cutthroat world. I don't craft. I don't make up my own delicious recipes. I don't throw decorated Pinterest parties. And I know nothing of motherhood. How Baby Girl has survived this long is a miracle of God. I don't have my stuff together. I swear when I get really angry, which seems to be often. I have not a drop of patience. My feelings are easily hurt and I don't know how to play with babies.

I have NO answers.

I tried jamming me into different boxes, but it never felt right. Bloggers would ask over and over what my niche is: "What's your niche?? You have to define your niche!" But all I could come up with is me. I just want my blog to be me. Me sharing me with the world for the sake of friendship on this journey of life and motherhood. This post from  Christian Mommy Blogger was a happy inspiration to me on niches.

I tried to find some blogs like I want mine to be like in an awesome dream world and was hardpressed. I guess my closest niche would be mommy blogging, because I will blog about my mothering hurdles and failures, and the far and few victories. But I won't have answers. 

If you are looking for how to discipline your child in 7 easy steps, you will have to look elsewhere. Or share your secrets with me, friend!! Don't hold back that knowledge! :)

And I love Jesus, but let's face it: I'm thick. I don't get things in front of my face. I don't always see the lesson I should be learning, much less on a weekly basis. So you won't see many posts here about how I related The Little Mermaid to learning about eternal love. Maybe, eventually. Once I get it. But there will be no nice neat packaged answers here.

Don't get me wrong: I LOVE nicely packaged answers!! I read tons of blogs with nicely packaged answers!! It is just not me. And I cannot try to be that lady anymore. So I am going to blog me. And I hope you stick around, chica. If you skip over me in favor of that pinnable blog of 50+ crockpot recipes, I get it. I already pinned it. Those ladies have their stuff to.get.her! But...if you start feeling pressured, I hope you will consider coming back to my (hopefully) pressure free zone to laugh at how I didn't know I was supposed to empty that little tray under the fridge until the whole place stunk like dead fish for a whole week.

I think I like you, let's be friends :)

Are you ever amazed at how hard it can be to make friends, even online? Leave all questions, comments, concerns below!